Re: [問題] 寫作無法突破....
※ 引述《Eritrea (Eritrea)》之銘言：
: 雖然去補了某家知名的雅思補習班 但英文作文還是一直無法突破
: (我認真寫和隨便寫的分數居然都差不多 老師上課常常用"google it" "I'm not sure"
: 帶過問題.....)
: 我英文程度應該還算OK TOEIC沒怎麼準備去考也有800分
: 但是每次作文都被批改的只有5.5分左右
: 我現在漸漸的越來越喪失信心
: 想試著換個補習班改改看作文 不知道有沒有推薦的地方
: 或是有好心的版友可以幫我看看問題到底出在哪....
: ==================================================
: 題目:People think that building should be knocked down and give way to the new
: buildings. Do you agree or disagree? How important are old buildings to us?
: With the rapid economic development, great deals of regions are confronted
第一次用
: with a renewal program, and are building modern structures to replace older
更新的計畫 新的建築取代舊的
: ones. Some people might consider it is too rude to these historical
(其實and前後意思都差不多,你寫太長了)
: structures, and others regard it as an opportunity of social development.
這裡把題目再寫一遍...為什麼? 第二次用
: This essay will elaborate the merits and drawback of the debate.
到這邊introduction沒有idea...只是把題目解釋好幾次
: Some individuals claim that aged structures should be protected for the
: following reasons. First, constructions are symbols of life experience of the
往下看reasons很模糊 哪一種建築物? ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
說真的...看不懂
: local area. A large number of historical buildings should be preserved but
^^^^^^^^^^ 你講歷史建築物應該被保留,雖然好像是理所當然,但還是要更精確
: not destroyed. In contemporary world, due to globalization, the regional
: features are replaced with the prevalent western culture gradually. The aged
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
突然跑出西方文化部會覺得很跳tone嗎?
: buildings play vital roles in establishing variation among architectures.
^^^^^^^^^^^
從first...到現在有沒有發現一直再繞圈圈...講同樣的東西
: In contrast, people might hold different opinion that the conservation of
: aged structures is expensive and that is difficult to find the master of
^^ ^and連接兩個句子時需要逗點 ^^^^^^大師?
通常有動詞可以用一定會比be動詞好,用cost too much都比用is expensive要生動
: traditional repairing skills. As far as I am concerned, the maintance of
: traditional constructions might produce severe stress on governments’
produce + stress ^^^^^^^^^^^
你可以去查查搭配詞詞典,produce跟stress應該很少人這樣用 政府不太用複數
可以cause/create/suffer...stress 請參考字典
: budget. Moreover, partly historical structures are located in the commercial
: regions and traffic lines. If the authorities only take traditional
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
看不懂
: conservation into account, without regard to practical efficiency; manpower
If開始不是主要子句,後面跑出分號就有問題了,用逗號 ^
: and resources will be wasted.
突然跑到這個論點也是很跳tone
: Based on all factors offered above, whether a aging construction should be
: removed to build a new one is a question that may be answered on a
: case-by-case basis. People involved should carefully weigh up the pros and
: cons of the issue before reaching a conclusion.
這個結論就是沒有答案...
: =========================================================================
: 以上~感謝~
這是對你的文章的評語,另外我再回一篇關於這個題目寫作的意見
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