Re: [新聞] 阿滴曝光「台灣給世界的公開信」中英文
看板Gossiping作者plzeatolives (ho ho ho)時間5年前 (2020/04/11 14:47)推噓474(533推 59噓 154→)留言746則, 575人參與討論串61/92 (看更多)
簡單評論:作秀華式作文炒人氣用,附帶效果是降低台灣格調
人家在受苦,你寫這些,真ᆰ澈雈嵽x灣人臉,而且使人反感
來句句評一下:
: To Mr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, Director-General of the World Health
: Organization,
: As you are reading this, with tens of millions of people around the world
: fighting the pandemic at the cost of their lives and freedom, it is regrettable
: that the WHO, under your leadership, has not stopped the flow of misinformation.
: You and other WHO officials, in January and February, made a succession of
: critical mistakes,
犯很多錯就犯很多錯,幹嘛強調"succession"連續錯誤...
贅詞不ok
: including your erroneous descriptions of China’s containing
: of the outbreak and your misdeclaration of COVID-19’s low possibility of
: human-to-human transmission.
這邊就事實陳述,你上一句都是情緒用語,突然轉折有點不順
而且前一句已經說"critical mistakes"了,
後面用"including"(包含)卻還要加"erroneous description"(有誤的),
還用"misdeclaration"(誤報)
這句翻回中文不就是:
你犯了一堆關鍵錯誤,包括xxx等有誤的敘述與誤報xxx
順帶一提,用"description敘述"和"misdeclaration"這些名詞,又使得你這句子更冗贅了
真要說就改describing之類的
然後misdeclaration用這邊好像也怪怪的,因為比較常用是用在誤報關稅或貨品之類的
而這種"錯誤宣導"我是比較沒看過這樣用啦
: On April 9, you made public remarks with a
: scathing tone, attacking Taiwan, our country, a success story fighting
: coronavirus.
這句真是尷尬癌爆開
"scathing tone" 你以為是在寫劇本膩?這應該是放在台詞前面括弧裡的
是有必要這麼戲劇化?
而且這種寫法比較像是在講故事,一般對話這樣很怪
後面"Taiwan, our country"這邊也很怪
因為你既然是寫信,就要署名一下,但你沒署名,又要用"our"
感覺就不太對。個人認為"our country"很冗。
但我懂啦,你就是要強調Taiwan=country
到時候中央社標題就可以下"阿滴公開信說台灣是國家,被nyt刊頭版"
讀英文版只會覺得那個有點突兀...根本不會意識到你偷渡country
"success story"也是很尷尬
你如果是Michael Phelps寫信時會自稱自己拿很多面金牌是個success story嗎?
但這也不是重點,
重點是人家美國現在為疫情苦惱中,你跑過去說"看我們多棒!!!!"
很屁孩
: You claimed that in the past three months, Taiwan has been attacking you. But
: the truth is, Taiwan is a partner of your hometown, Ethiopia, where Taiwan
: provides medical missions, water resources, and continued support for women and
: children's rights and food security. Taiwanese have raised money for students
: from Ethiopia to receive medical treatment, and Taiwanese businesses have even
: sponsored tens of thousands of children in Ethiopia, hoping that Ethiopia and
: Taiwan can work together for a better future.
都要事實陳述了,何不把數據搬出來?
然後這一段只會讓我想到Mark Zuckerberg夫妻給他們小孩的信
尤其是work together for a better future 這個說法orz
真要寫那種大外宣的東西,就一定要有數據
像Zuckerberg在他給女兒的公開信就直接說,
"We will give 99% of our Facebook shares -- currently about $45 billion..."
而且還是預計要做啥
感覺比較有說服力
不然你這樣根本是為情緒勒索鋪路,
很像媽媽說"媽20年來都犧牲這麼多,拚命賺錢就為了讓你可以讀好大學..."
聽到這你覺得下一句會說啥?
所以當然是要像facebook一樣直接說
"媽打算把家產的70%、定存的1000萬都給你啦!所以要對我溫柔一點多陪我一點啦"
不然你那個版本的下一句一定是"...你怎麼可以對我這麼冷漠QQ"
: While we have been standing with your country, you chose to adopt an opposite
: attitude towards our country. You accused Taiwan of organizing a cyberattack
: that lasted three months, yet you ignored the warnings Taiwan sent to the WHO
: about the outbreak as early as in late December 2019.
我就說吧,果真勒索下去了!
"我一直這麼支持你的,你卻用這種態度對媽媽...!(下略)QQQ"
這種話誰要聽啦==
: Taiwan launched various forms of innovative preventive measures in January and
: now serves as a good reference for officials in countries including New Zealand
: and the United States. We believe we can provide the help the world needs, and
: even though the WHO has not even given Taiwan the right to participate in any
: way, we have taken the initiative to contribute to the world.
小學生式的自我感覺良好 很自大 不多評論
下面也都是類似的 恕刪..
: Please take Taiwan seriously. Taiwan is a reliable helper and the Taiwanese
: people are helping every friend worldwide who values human rights and shares
"我天天幫你買超營養早餐還精選無糖健康豆漿,拜託請愛我!!"
"我這麼認真去認識你兄弟們,你都不願意看我一眼....please take me seriously!!!"
通篇都是這種感覺啦
就算前面買早餐的事真的是對方賺到,你後面那堆情緒用語,什麼"take Taiwan seriously"
如果是第三人稱就是軟性說教,
但你這是第一人稱,那就是工具人轉恐怖情人的開端啦
馬上取消收早餐的好處,還想全部還回去然後封鎖...
整篇就是一個so full of yourself
就算一堆台灣做的事是事實(就像你媽真的對你很好、工具人真的很會幫你)
你ᄄ犖媟L妙的語調和修飾方法就會大改想傳達的意思
造成反效果
大家說不會有人認真看,我覺得不要看最好==
最後建議直接ᄌp名Ray Du English之類的
一方面澄清是你們自己要搞的
另一方面說不定華裔移民看了還覺得"喔!原來是英語補習班廣告呢!"
賺更多啦
幹,看到這種文章真的會無言....
ps 從一開始就不要做這種多餘的事最好。
--
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※ 文章網址: https://www.ptt.cc/bbs/Gossiping/M.1586587657.A.AB6.html
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※ 編輯: plzeatolives (1.162.46.185 臺灣), 04/11/2020 14:51:15
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