Re: [婚前] 提親前的包容與尊重
我有一些原住民的朋友,也有意願的去接觸了解過他們的文化,
不曉得你的未婚妻是哪個族群,但朋友他們也有慶典殺豬這個習俗。
老實說我不知道你多了解你未婚妻族群的事情,
但就我接觸過而言,原住民是非常重視自己的文化與傳承。
也許漢人對他們的印象就是終日喝酒、玩樂至上,
我可以跟你說這只是片面的真實,
他們結交各種朋友,抱持著寬闊樂天的心態去面對生活,
對於祖靈以及自身的文化是帶著敬畏與虔誠的心態。
在豐年祭的時候他們可以放下手邊的工作,
提前一兩個月就開始做培訓跟規劃。
他們就是這樣熱愛著自己的文化與傳承。
你說你表姊人很NICE只是粗線條了一點,
但我可以跟你說對他們來說這樣的說法是有點褻瀆他們文化的。
那是一種以高視角去看待他們文化的態度。
也許他沒有這樣的意思,
但有時候你講話的態度所流露出的優越感是會讓人不舒服的。
我未婚,所以關於提親什麼的我沒辦法給你意見。
但我覺得既然你準備跟不同文化的人結婚,
你自己勢必也要去了解與進入這個文化裡面,
帶著尊重謙卑與敬畏的心這才是愛你未來妻子的態度。
同時也要扮演未婚妻家庭與你的家庭溝通的橋梁。
漢文化與原住民文化是非常不一樣的,
也許在你結婚之前你也需要想想未來的相處
以及節日上的摩擦或價值觀是否需要再好好溝通。
還有既然女生不希望叫你表姊當媒人,那就不要讓他當吧。
想想你的最終目的是順利娶到對方當一輩子的幸福伴侶,
而不是在女方無奈接受他當媒人後卻換來未來的怨懟。
那個朋友的意見就不要聽了,
我自己都快聽不下去了...
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※ 編輯: wasmemory (114.38.7.168), 09/10/2014 21:59:12
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