Re: [寫作班] 托福第30週 ynyn, 1
看板ST-English作者excrement (the essence of love)時間15年前 (2009/03/04 22:11)推噓1(1推 0噓 0→)留言1則, 1人參與討論串2/2 (看更多)
※ 引述《ynyn (為何總是不順利...)》之銘言：
: Q
: Some people believe that students should be given one long vacation each
: year. Others believe that students should have several short vacations
: throughout the year. Which viewpoint do you agree with?
: A
: People who prefer to take a long vacation per year or to take short breaks
: many times is depending on their purpose. In my opinion, I prefer to take a
: long vacation per year because I am a student. Why students are suitable to
: take a long vacation?
"because I am a student" is not a persuasive reason becasue everybody
is a student. Therefore, you might want to have a more specific argument which
enables you to elaborate in the subsequent paragraphs.
: Students have so many kinds of academic work in their schooling period such
: as homeworks, exams, and school competitions. Most of these activities should
: continue a long time. If short vacations between these periods, they would
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
why? you can explain why short breaks interrupt learning.
: interrupt learning efficiency of students. For one thing, when I was a
: freshment. I like to learn all of marketing strategy by one time. However,
freshman
: a short vacation between Marketing101 and marketing102. That would cause
: lower learning efficiency to me.
it seems to me that marketing 101 and 102 are two courses. therefore,
readers might argue that the marketing 101 itself is a complete course.
you might want to have other examples to persuade the readers.
: Although Several short vacations can let students pure their mind and
: decrease their learning pressures. However, that would destroy some special
Although....here is not a complete setence. you might want to change as
Although several short vacations...., that would destroy....(although
and howerver can not be used together)_
: plans of students. For example, students usually want to find some part-time
: jobs to earn extra money. A long vacation can help them to find the job
: because employers don’t want to hire a person who just work several weeks.
: In addition, some students want to go to other countries in order to learn
: foreign languages or take a long trip. I promise taking a long
: vacation is more beneficial for these students.
promise here seems a little bit weird. Therefore, I believe...?
: Some people still prefer to take several short vacations. However, I,
: be a student, think taking a long vacation per year is more useful to
: most of student and me.
In the conclusion, we want to strengthen our argument by re-stating the
reason why a long vacation is better than several short ones. Therefore,
you might not want to start with a statement that is opposite to
yours.
--
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※ 編輯: excrement 來自: 128.205.231.174 (03/04 22:11)
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