Re: [問題] 六分作文長什麼樣子 ?
引述《yooyoovicky (我喜歡你，你喜歡我嗎？)》之銘言
: ____________我是第二篇_______________________________________________________
: In the present age, people are having a hard time suffering missing unique
Nowadays, facing difficulties fighting against the
: dialects and customs. It might result in some problems such as tradition
vanishing of dialects and customs. traditions
: disappearing, the sense of belonging changed and declining the
disappeared the competitiveness of
: competitiveness of local people. In this essay, I will analyze the factors
local people declined.
: regarding to this issue.
: First of all, handy transport system dramatically improved people’s life.
convenient transportation system has improved
: Modern people only take a few hours to fly to other countries, the rapid
fast moving
: traffic allows different folks communicate more frequently. While people
vehicles peoples
: start to contact, the prevailing culture might affect or even erode the other
contact one another
: one. According to linguistic research, minority group would try to acquire
: the bigger group’s language for communicating. By contrast, the big group
On contrast
: usually domain the higher social position. In most contact situations, the
dominate In most situations, as people
: stronger language speakers will increase and the weak one might lose their
contact each other, the dominating language will be more widely used, and
: confidence and the culture disappears in a not long period.
speakers of small languages lose self confidence and the culture disappears
not long thereafter.
: The other factor should be taken into account is media. Nowadays, American
^that
: and European countries broadcast their programs which including cultures,
include
: lifestyle and preference. Obviously, they influence million audiences’ mind
lifestyles, preferences the mind of millions of the audience
: and habits around the world, like Valentine’s Day, fast food. For another
such as ^and Another such
: instance, many people prefer watching Hollywood movies to local movies due to
example is that,
: the international starts and high technique. As a result, in small country,
technology countries
: no producer would like to invest in history recording. The local culture
The local culture
: sooner will be ignore and disappear.
will be ignored. And sooner or later it will disappear.
: To sum up, the reasons of losing languages and cultures are advanced
To sum up, the development of transportation and media have caused languages
: transport and media development. As far I am convinced that both of them
to disappear. As far as I am concerned, both of them
: boost the change of society.
have caused the change of society.
TR 6 CC 6 LR 5.5 GR 4.5 O 5.5
你沒有離題的問題 但是記得每段結尾的時候要再把整段的重點闡述一次
你的連接詞使用有問題造成你的文章不連貫
你的字彙量是夠的 但是你非常不求甚解
你的句子常有結構上的問題造成理解上的困難 而且超多很明顯的文法錯誤
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◆ From: 114.32.42.163
※ 編輯: stephanieche 來自: 114.32.42.163 (06/02 23:37)
※ 編輯: stephanieche 來自: 114.32.42.163 (06/02 23:45)
※ 編輯: stephanieche 來自: 114.32.42.163 (06/02 23:46)
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