Re: [請益] 英文自我介紹 改善
看板Eng-Class作者softseaweed (Gladys von Wackenheim)時間10年前 (2015/07/17 01:29)推噓3(3推 0噓 8→)留言11則, 5人參與討論串2/2 (看更多)
整篇幫你改好了,懶得一個一個打
※ 引述《aihosea (我在彰化*吃肉圓)》之銘言:
: 英文寫作沒有很好,請大家幫忙改一下,謝謝
: Hello,
不要用Hello,改其他東西
還有信第一行不要用逗號結尾,請用冒號或句號
若這是作文的話你不應該把這個hello隔出來,請直接放到第一句裏面
Greetings,
: I would like to tell you a little bit about myself. My name is XXX.
: I graduated from XXX University with Chemistry bachelor’s degree in
: Chemistry.
I would like to tell you a little bit about myself. My name is ______,
and I graduated from ______ University with a bachelor's degree in Chemistry.
: I had worked at Kitchen for 1 year and 6 months in Australia.
Kitchen是機構名稱? 不是的話不要大寫
I had worked in Kitchen for one and a half years in Australia.
若kitchen不是專有名詞用這句
I had worked in a kitchen in Australia for one and a half years.
: As a kitchen hand, I must have to learn everything as soon as possible.
As a kitchen hand, I had to learn everything at the fastest pace possible.
: I had to prepare the food for chef, to move the stuff.
I had to prepare food for the chef, move items around, etc.
: 我要準備食物,搬貨物。
: Besides, I was in charge of order the stuff or refund the wrong stuff.
你這裏用besides的意義不明,還有不要用or因為你兩個都有做
還有直接用refund的意思是你要"收回東西並退錢給別人",如果是你要退還訂錯的東西
那你應該要用像是request refunds
Also, I was in charge of ordering supplies and
(requesting refunds for / refunding)
看你選哪個
mispurchased orders.
: The reason why I choose the Working holiday in Australia is earning more
: money, knowing the different culture.
The reason why I chose the Working Holiday program in Australia is to
earn more money and acquaint myself with different cultures.
: 除此之外,我要負責訂貨退貨。我選擇澳洲打工度假的原因是,賺錢,體驗
: 不同的文化。
: I had worked at XXX as an assistant engineer for almost 2 years.
I had worked at _______ as an assistant engineer for almost two years.
: The job is about to clean the machine, measure the vibration of the machine
: and communicate with the Miss of assemble-line what is the proper time to
: maintenance.
你講machine大家會讀的霧煞煞,可以的話請說的仔細一點
The job was to clean the machines, measure their vibrations, and communicate
to the lady in charge of the assembly line on when to perform maintenances.
: 我在某公司當助理工程師兩年。工作內容是清潔機台,量測機台的震度,
: 和小姐交涉,在適當的時機,作機台保養。
: My strength is that I’m a fast learner, cautious and multi-tasking.
: I hope I can join your team.
My strength is in that I'm a fast learner, cautious while at the same time
able to multi-task.
I really hope I can join your team.
: Thanks for your listening.
除非你要講出來,不然不要用listen,用個萬用的
Thank you for your time.
就好,還有thanks有點太口語了,應該要避免
: 我的優點是學得很快,細心謹慎、可以多工處理。
我覺得這篇就算你用中文寫同樣的內容也會稍嫌太簡單
可以複雜一點或更有感情會好一點
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calibrate是調整機器的精準度,像是把磅秤歸零這種
原po只是紀錄刻度而已,加上我不想動太多字,所以這樣修
※ 編輯: softseaweed (42.66.241.185), 07/17/2015 15:53:34
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