Re: [求譯] 我寫的文章有文法上的錯誤嗎?
: 小弟害怕在時態上或者動詞有兩個 畢竟寫作文常發生 好心人士有空幫我到抓一下
: 順便分享一下自己的寫作 希望不要太差
: How I Wish I have.........
標點符號後面請記得要空一格。
本篇拼字錯誤很多。下次記得好好檢查。不然只會讓人覺得你很隨便。
我覺得本文有比「時態」和「動詞」更大的問題。就是結構不緊湊，前後文
不搭，感覺只是堆砌不相關的句子。
: The topic reminds me of motto "stay hungry stay foolish.I most worship person
The topic reminds me of the motto, "stay hungry stay foolish", made by
Steve Jobs, the late chairman of Apple Computer, and the person
I worship the most.
: that is Steve Jobs.He was the chairman of Apple computer. The motto of Steve
: Jobs was stay hungry stay foolish,the motto affect my life.Steve Jobs said "
: you got to find what you love".He had much kownledge and unlimited creativity
: than others,because he was always learned something he loved,although he
: nerver graduated from college.
Although I never met him personally, his famous quotes has had a
significant impact on my life. For example, "You got to find what you love"
[把這句話對你的影響寫在這，不要像原稿那樣，沒頭沒尾跑出這句話]
「He had knowledge ... graduate from college.」 這一句邏輯很有問題。
我個人覺得你很愛濫用 although, because 這些連接詞，用了以後又不管
前後句子到底有沒有關連性。感覺就是堆砌一些沒有連結性的句子。
以這句為例，「因為 Jobs 一直學他喜歡的東西，所以他有很多知識」。我不
知道別人怎樣看這句，但我並不認為這兩件事，「學喜歡的東西」和「有知識」
有「因為所以」的因果關係。如果 Jobs 一直學他不喜歡的東西，他還是可以
有很多知識。
另外，「雖然他沒有大學文憑」，和「總是學習他喜歡的東西」更是扯不上
關係。也就是說，有大學文憑的人，還是可以學他喜歡的東西啊。
: When Steve Jobs was young,he dropped out he could stop taking the required
: classes that didn't interested him , begin dropping in on the ones that looked
: interesting.For example,he learned srief and san srief typefaces.None of this
serif, sans-serif, 拼字請拼對。起碼查一下字典。
「When .... interesting」這一句文法結構完全混亂。我沒有分析文法的專長，沒有
辦法告訴你什麼 S+V+O ... etc., 不過你這句要全部重寫。
Steve Jobs dropped out of Reed college in 1972. Despite his lack
of interest in the required courses, after the drop-out
he continued auditing several creative classes, one of which was
calligraphy, which he later said "If I had never dropped in on that
single calligraphy course in college, the Mac would have never had
multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts."
: had even in hop of any practical application in his life.But ten years later,
: when he was desining Mac computer,it all came back to him.It was the first
: computer with beautiful typography.If he had nerver have dropped in that
The Mac was the first computer that comes with beautiful typefaces.
: single course in college.The Mac would had never have mutiple typefaces f
: ronts.
以上這句是引用 Jobs 自己的話，必須用引號 quote 起來，否則就是抄襲。
: Steve Jobs brought us two spirits.The first spirit,you got to find what you
Steve Jobs gave us two spirits. Firstly, one has to find what he loves.
: love.When Steve Jobs was young,he was always focused on something wihch he
: loved.Finally,his life experience became successful experience.The second
- 「finally」 在這裡非常突兀。我看不出來為何要用此字。
- 「focus on」 為何要用被動式？
- 「life experience became successful experience」也很怪
: spirit,each stage of effort will became foundation of success in the furture.
你真的超會亂拼字的。
Secondly, one can make a big difference by collectively making a
small effort.
: When Steve Jobs in college,it was impossible connect the dots looking forward.
: But it was very , very clear looking backward ten years later.Again,you can't
連續用兩個 「very」個人覺得沒有必要。
: connect the dots looking forward;but you can connect them looking backwards.
: So you have to trust that the dots will somewhere connect in your furture.
為什麼你從頭到尾都把 「future」拼成「furture」?
以上都是抄襲 Jobs 的演說，不但沒有 quote，還抄錯，拼錯字。
更重要的是，Jobs 演說中講到這段的時候，有前後文輔助，所以「connect dots」
云云很有意義。而你把這些話放在這篇文章最後，前後文情境和 Jobs 的演說不同，
我覺得不適當。
: Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. How I wish I have done it.
※ 編輯: hoch 來自: 1.162.84.81 (09/15 21:38)
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