Re: [剪報] Baker的訪問全文
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※ 引述《sofialeon (我愛大頭小白貓)》之銘言：
: ※ 引述《Lyotard (非人)》之銘言：
: : Baker: I'm an alcoholic
: : Celtic speaks candidly about problem
: : By Shira Springer, Globe Staff, 9/11/2003
: : DURHAM, Conn. -- When Vin Baker opened the door to his brick
: : mansion late Tuesday night, he looked different than he did
: : six months ago. He was clear-eyed and harder edged. Most
: : noticeably, the puffiness that followed his jawline was gone.
: : He sounded different, too; stronger and surer.
: : It has been a long journey, and Baker was ready to speak
: : candidly and publicly for the first time about events that
: : led the Celtics to suspend him Feb. 27.
: : "I am an alcoholic," Baker said, detailing a struggle with
: : "binge drinking" that reached such a self-destructive level
: : last season that he went through nearly four months of
: : treatment to change his life. Now, with Celtics training camp
: : three weeks away, he believes he has an opportunity to save
: : his career. In a wide-ranging interview, Baker discussed his
: : treatment, his early denial, the team practices where he
: : admittedly smelled of alcohol, the concerns coach Jim O'Brien
: : voiced in December, the pressures that came with a contract
: : worth approximately $86 million and All-Star honors, the start
: : of his drinking problem following the lockout in 1998-99, the
: : plans for a successful return to NBA life, and the challenge
: : of winning back teammates and fans.
: : Last Wednesday, Baker marked six months of sobriety. He stopped
: : drinking the day he was suspended. He has spent the summer
: : eagerly preparing for a return to the NBA. With a private
: : trainer and two workouts a day, Baker has trimmed down to a
: : sculpted 241 pounds, his playing weight his first two seasons
: : in the league and at least 15 pounds lighter than he appeared
: : last season. He suffers no lingering health problems. While
: : Baker feels his lift, coordination, speed, and skill have
: : returned, he is keeping his expectations vague. No numbers,
: : just meaningful contributions to the Celtics. Poor performances
: : coupled with unfulfilled expectations, in large part, precipitated
: : the drinking problem, he said.
: : "The Celtics, the organization, cared for me as a person," said
: : Baker. "The suspension gave me a chance at a new life, gave me a
: : new lease on life, gave me a new chance at my career. I know a
: : lot of people view the suspension as an ax job and he's out of
: : here. But I didn't view it as that. I viewed it as a chance that
: : they gave me to change my life. Obviously, now six months later
: : with not touching a drink, I can see clearly how that gave me a
: : new lease on life.
: : "I don't know how much I was hiding it or how much I was covering
: : it up. It wasn't a situation where I would get plastered or get
: : wasted. I just didn't want to think about the success that I wasn't
: : having that I had in the beginning of my career. It would just be a
: : situation where I would try to numb myself to all the expectations.
: : So, it could be three days in a row, four days in a row, or it could
: : be no [drinking at all for] a day. It was in and out. It was like
: : binge drinking."
: : After binge drinking for approximately four years and slipping from
: : All-Star to sparingly used backup center, Baker, at the insistence
: : of the Celtics, sought treatment. He checked into Silver Hill Hospital
: : in New Canaan, Conn., March 4 for a 28-day rehabilitation program. He
: : was then supervised for 10 weeks as an outpatient with daily visits
: : and testing at Silver Hill. Contrary to published reports, Baker said
: : he has never suffered from and is not receiving any treatment for
: : depression.
: : Support system set
: : Since finishing treatment, Baker has gradually made a fresh start,
: : ridding himself of bad habits and bad influences while rededicating
: : himself to basketball. After stops in Miami and Las Vegas, his
: : training routine continues in Connecticut, where he works out at
: : home in the morning and plays pickup games with the UConn men's
: : team in the afternoon. During the last eight weeks, Baker has
: : worked to integrate travel, training, and a sober lifestyle. He
: : attends Alcoholics Anonymous meetings two or three
: : times a week and talks with his sponsor every day.
: : Before training camp starts, Baker, the Celtics, and the league
: : will finalize plans for a support network that will stretch to all
: : NBA cities. He plans to attend AA meetings upon arriving at
: : different NBA stops. He will have counselors available in every
: : city and someone he can talk to on the team, if any issues arise.
: : He will carry a cellphone specially dedicated for calls to and
: : from league and team officials. He will be tested during the season.
: : "I feel like in the last six months, I've come full circle and
: : come back to the person I was before all this started, before
: : [my career in] the NBA started," Baker said. "So, the people that
: : I hang around with, the places that I go [have changed]. Those
: : components make me say that I don't want to drink anymore. But I
: : have to say that every day. As much as this has been such a
: : successful last six months for me, I have to say to you that today
: : I'm sober. I know the education and how powerful alcoholism
: : can be.
: : "I have to work every day to say, `I'm not going to go here. I
: : certainly shouldn't be there. I certainly shouldn't be around
: : that person.' Then, you have to fill in those times with things
: : that are good for you, working out, being in the gym, being with
: : my kids, being with my family. All those things make up 24 hours
: : for me. They don't make up the next five years. They just make up
: : 24 hours, saying, `You know what? I'm not going to have a drink
: : today.' As much as I want to say, I'm not going to ever have a
: : drink, I have to take it 24 hours at a time. That way has worked
: : for six months."
: : Baker would like to keep his attention focused toward next season,
: : but he knows he must account for what happened in his first season
: : with the Celtics. In a well-documented downturn, Baker averaged 5.2
: : points per game and 3.8 rebounds before his suspension. There was
: : an obvious erosion of skill and athleticism. He appeared
: : uncoordinated, particularly when trying to finish around the
: : basket. He seemed disoriented, out of synch, distracted during
: : many of the 18.1 minutes per game he played.
: : Although O'Brien was steadfast in his public support for Baker
: : and repeatedly talked about the veteran center making adjustments
: : to a new system, the head coach privately sought to address the
: : alcoholism, according to Baker. It was not poor play in games, but
: : practices that may have provided the strongest evidence of a serious
: : problem. According to Baker, O'Brien met with him in December and
: : January in an attempt to help (when reached by phone yesterday,
: : O'Brien declined to comment) and later visited Baker at Silver Hill.
: : "Coach sat me down a couple times and said, `If you think there's
: : an issue, then we need to deal with it,' " said Baker. "That was
: : from smelling [the alcohol] in practice. He wanted to deal with it.
: : Obviously, the alcoholism and the alcoholic speaking say, `No,
: : there's no problem coach. I'm going to be fine.' "
: : But Baker was trapped in an endless cycle, where poor performances
: : led to drinking and drinking led to more poor performances. He did
: : much of his drinking privately, in his suburban Boston home or in
: : hotel rooms after the many disappointing games.
: : "I always had in the back of my mind, I always said, `If I don't do
: : well tonight or if I don't go out and play up to my standards, then
: : I'm just going to go out and drink to get rid of the pain or get rid
: : of the fact that I wasn't successful,' " Baker said. "I was never
: : going to give myself a chance to do well as long as I was drinking
: : the night before or as long as I drank the previous four nights.
: : So, I was working against the odds.
: : "You're drinking too much [is] the biggest problem, and then you're
: : not playing well. So, it compounds and compounds. The days keep
: : going. Like I learned up at Silver Hill, it's always `Poor me, poor
: : me, pour me another drink.' That's how it was."
: : Meetings, treatment
: : There is only so much that mouthwash and cologne can cover. Baker
: : suspects those close to him knew what was happening. By February,
: : the new Celtics owners not only recognized what was going on, they
: : also saw a need to take action. It was one of the first crises with
: : which the new ownership dealt. There were lengthy conversations
: : among owners Wyc and Irv Grousbeck, Bob Epstein and Steve Pagliuca
: : and Celtics lawyer Neil Jacobs, where Baker's future was discussed.
: : There was also a meeting after the All-Star break among Baker,
: : Baker's family and representatives, the ownership and team officials.
: : The same parties met again after the Celtics returned from their
: : mid-February tour of the Western Conference. Medical experts were
: : also consulted.
: : "It was a group effort," owner Wyc Grousbeck said. "We had serious
: : discussions and negotiations about how it all ought to be. But the
: : goal was to give this player the structure and support and incentive
: : that he needed, so, it made it very clear that his best choice was
: : to make a change."
: : The meetings ultimately led to treatment. While initially reluctant
: : to see himself as an alcoholic, Baker gradually took advantage of
: : the education, counseling, and group therapy Silver Hill offered.
: : He left calling it the "best experience" of his life. From the
: : outside, that would seem an odd description for a rehabilitation
: : center where classes started at 8:30 a.m. and ran throughout the
: : day. In the evening, Baker and other patients could watch movies
: : with alcohol or drug-related themes. There was "28 Days" starring
: : Sandra Bullock and "Less Than Zero" featuring Robert Downey Jr.
: : Initially, Baker spent a lot of time in his room, reading
: : motivational books, the Bible and information about alcoholism.
: : The education provided by Silver Hill was directed toward
: : identifying the symptoms of alcoholism. Baker said it was like
: : a checklist of the life he had led. In group therapy, patients
: : discussed a particular topic, such as how they hid their
: : addiction from their families.
: : Although Silver Hill is a facility accustomed to dealing with
: : celebrity patients, that didn't make Baker any more comfortable
: : "on campus" his first few weeks. Baker admitted he "was on this
: : whole professional athlete thing" at first. He was also in denial.
: : He said to himself, "Oh, I'm not an alcoholic. I want out of here.
: : I'm not like the people in here." But Baker learned he did have a
: : problem and that his alcoholism was much bigger than his status as
: : a professional athlete.
: : "It was tough at first to walk up there because I was like, `Gosh,
: : everyone's going to know I'm here,' " Baker said. "For the first
: : two or three weeks, I had that feeling. But what I figured out after
: : three weeks was that it wasn't about me the athlete up there. I was
: : up there to get help. I was up there to change my life. Part of
: : changing my life was being honest with myself, being honest with
: : the people around me, being able to trust the people around me.
: : "The more people that know that I'm an alcoholic, or the more
: : people that know I have this problem, the more people I'm going
: : to have to be accountable to. And I want to be accountable. I
: : kind of got rid of that notion that, `Oh, I don't want them to
: : know' because it's a part of me. I want people to say he's doing
: : a wonderful job. The success that I had initially in basketball
: : I started applying to my sobriety. I wanted to be successful in
: : that. I was driven to be sober."
: : Back to basketball
: : According to Baker, the toughest part of inpatient treatment came
: : when he had to say he was an alcoholic for the first time. It was
: : tough the second time and the third time, too. But Baker met the
: : challenges of inpatient treatment, and after nearly a month, he
: : was allowed to commute. Baker made the 80-minute trip every day,
: : arriving in time for the 8:30 class. In his 2 1/2 months as an
: : outpatient, he slept at home, got tested every day and attended
: : AA meetings at night, in addition to the daily routine
: : he had established during his inpatient stay.
: : While at home, Baker willed himself to watch the Celtics on
: : television a few times. He became a fan. With the exception of
: : a brief trip to the basketball court at Silver Hill, Baker went
: : without playing or practicing for three months.
: : In late May, he went to the University of Hartford to participate
: : in pickup games with college players from his alma mater. It was
: : a start. Baker also began to work on conditioning with personal
: : trainer James Lloyd that month. His sessions consisted of running
: : on a treadmill, biking and lifting weights. In mid-June, Baker
: : started with two-a-days entirely devoted to conditioning. He
: : lifted weights and sprinted on the treadmill in the morning. He
: : cycled and went through a series of sprints on the court in
: : the evening. He has done basketball work for only a month.
: : "For me, I've worked so hard this summer physically," Baker said.
: : "I've worked harder mentally and emotionally. What I've worked for
: : is to come back and help the team, whatever way I can help the team.
: : What capacity that's in right now, I don't know. I just know I've
: : worked my butt off to get back on the court and be in good shape.
: : A realistic goal? Just coming out and competing and having fun and
: : helping this team win. I really feel like I can help this team win
: : basketball games. Honestly, I can't give you a number on rebounds
: : and points. But my goal is not just to stay sober every night and
: : have people say, `Oh, he's doing great.' "
: : These days, Baker has structured his workouts similar to what he
: : expects to face at Celtics training camp. He runs the treadmill
: : and lifts weights in the morning, then heads to Storrs for
: : scrimmages every afternoon. In games, he goes up against UConn
: : standout Emeka Okafor. He plays for approximately two hours.
: : "My legs are back, my lift is back," Baker said. "But again, I've
: : got to test it. Jumping in the gym by yourself is completely
: : different than jumping with nine other people on the floor
: : competing for rebounds. It's different. I can drill all day.
: : We'll have another conversation Oct. 2 or 3, and I'll tell you
: : a little bit more how I feel. I don't want to set any unrealistic
: : goals, but I just feel great.
: : "Conditioning-wise, this probably is the best I've been in any of
: : my seasons coming back. Now, it's about just getting on the floor
: : and playing. I've obviously answered the questions for me from the
: : physical standpoint. Now, it's the emotional part, getting back out
: : and enjoying it and playing the game like I played it eight years
: : ago, five years ago. I'm working on that every day. That's my trips
: : up to Storrs. It's the psyche that I've got to work on now, and I
: : think it's coming."
: : Although not intended as tests, Baker spent time working out in
: : Miami and Las Vegas, cities known for vibrant party scenes. In
: : both cities, Baker said he was not even tempted to drink, though
: : he was accompanied by a league representative in both places.
: : Baker added he never thought about going to South Beach or the
: : casino at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino where he was staying in
: : Las Vegas. For Baker, the experience in both cities was similar
: : to traveling with an NBA team, and in that respect, the trips
: : were good preparation.
: : While Baker has worked hard physically and mentally to prepare
: : himself for next season with the Celtics, there are still aspects
: : of life as a professional athlete that he cannot control. He knows
: : he will still be judged by many in terms of the three years and
: : roughly $43 million remaining on his contract. And Baker said he
: : must apologize to his teammates. Several times Baker tried to
: : watch tapes of his play last season but could not do it. He didn't
: : want to remind himself of the player and person he was. When
: : training camp starts, he will have to face teammates who dealt
: : daily with the player and person he was last year.
: : "I want to get a chance to talk to my teammates and apologize to
: : them for last year and talk to them about the things that I've
: : gone through," Baker said. "I really sincerely think that I owe
: : my teammates an apology. But the biggest way to win my teammates
: : back is to come and give an effort every day in practice and
: : training camp and work as hard as I possibly can. I didn't do
: : that last year for them, not in training camp, not during the
: : season. What I want to say to them I've been doing in the gym. I
: : think at the end of the day they're going to respect that and
: : appreciate that more than any words I could ever say to them."
: : And what about the fans?
: : "The only thing that I can hope for is that people understand
: : that I went through a situation that was very tough for me,"
: : Baker said. "It's something that was bigger than basketball,
: : bigger than scoring 20 points a game. I hope they can understand
: : that. If they don't understand that, that will be something that
: : I have to live with. As honest as I'm being, there's going to be
: : some people who aren't going to buy it. Those are the people I'm
: : going to have to say, `Buy [my hustling] up and down the court,
: : buy blocking shots, buy rebounding.' That's going to be the answer."
: : Baker is eager to show fans, teammates, and coaches what he can
: : do as a sober NBA player. Until then, he enjoys a better
: : relationship with his parents and three children. "It never
: : crossed my mind to stop playing basketball," Baker said. "All
: : the time that I was out and I wasn't playing last season and
: : obviously the time during the summer, all I thought about was
: : that this is going to make me better. I'm going to be better
: : physically. I'm going to be better emotionally."
: : c Copyright 2003 Globe Newspaper Company.
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