[閒聊] 你們做過最色的事情是什麼？已回收

看板sex作者ericbird (人間殺氣)時間12年前 (2012/07/01 20:38)推噓35(35推 0噓 3→)

留言38則, 37人參與討論串1/30 (看更多)

我在reddit看到老外前幾天分享的故事，就這留言超扯的XDD 所以粗略翻譯了一下，有些地方沒有翻譯的很精準，應該有些地方譯錯之類的0rz 如果你英文行的話，請直接看原文吧來源：Reddit網站 askreddit版 http://redd.it/vnw7g 提問的帳號是 _AskRedditThrowaway 回答的帳號是 AlphaRedditor Q: What is the sluttiest thing you've ever done? Obvious start... I blew my boyfriend behind his work in broad daylight when he was on his ten... Nothing too extreme. You? 問：你們曾經做過最色的事情是什麼？顯然由我先開始講......我曾在大白天時，趁男友還在工作的時候幫他吹30cm... 沒啥了不起的，說說你們的經驗吧？ A： I had sex for Cinnamon Toast Crunch. 答：我曾經為了吃肉桂吐司脆片（一種營養榖片）跟人做愛。 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cinnamon_Toast_Crunch A couple years ago I was on a trip to Chicago, ended up staying at one of those older hotels in the downtown area. I was visiting potential law schools and decided to stay for a few days to catch in some sights. 好幾年前我去芝加哥旅遊，住在鬧區的一間舊旅館裡。我拜訪了幾間有潛力的法學院後，決定多待幾天參觀一些觀光景點。 It wasn't the nicest hotel since I was still a student and not able to afford something nicer for five days, but it did offer a continental breakfast...which turned out to be completely terrible. The only thing I ate during breakfast for the first two days was cereal, and they happened to have Cinnamon Toast Crunch, aka, Cinnamon Holy Shit I Love this Shit. I must have had a dozen boxes in the first three days, I packed my backpack with it and ate a box while visiting the Sears tower. Fuck bagels, the Sin Crunch was where it was at. 那不是一間最好的旅館，因為我那時還是窮學生沒法找個好一點的旅館住上五天，但至少它有提供歐式早餐......但事後證明那真是爛爆了。我前兩天唯一吃的早餐是營養榖片，那玩意兒叫「肉桂吐司脆片」，又叫做「它媽的肉桂我超愛」。我前三天肯定吃了一打脆片吧。我還塞了一盒脆片在背包裡，在參觀西爾斯大廈的時候（芝加哥的摩天大樓，樓高 442.3公尺）把它嗑掉。去它的貝果，罪惡的脆片才該在這地方。（最後一句不確定是否翻譯正確。不過貝果有三種作法，一個蒙特婁式的；一個紐約式；另一種式芝加哥式的，可能跟這有關吧＠＠"） So over the course of those few days, I couldn't help but get to know the hotel staff members. I was travelling alone and I didn't know anyone in town, so friendly conversations were welcomed. One of the girls that worked on the kitchen staff noticed my penchant for the Cinnacrack and joked that I had an addiction. Fucking right, too. She was in her early 20s, my age, seemed cute, and a little flirty. I didn't mind the attention. 過了這麼多天，我只有跟旅館員工很熟。我獨自旅行，城裡也沒半個認識的，所以很歡迎友善的對話。有一個在廚房工作的女生注意到我特別愛吃肉桂吐司脆片，還笑我有脆片癮。靠，她說的沒錯。她大概20初頭，跟我差不多年紀，看起來有些可愛、俏皮。我那時沒有很在意她說的話。 But then on the fifth and final day, I went to the lobby for my normal bowl of Sweetened Cinnamon goodness, everything fell apart. The cereal boxes were gone. All that were left were what looked to be week-old croissants. Crestfallen I turned to go back to my room when I heard a whisper, "Mr. AlphaRedditor? I think I may have something you're looking for." There was Ms. Staff Member, beckoning me from a doorway labelled for employees only. 但到了最後一天，我走去大廳準備吃一碗心愛的脆片女神時，一切灰翻湮滅。脆片紙盒突然消失了。那裡只剩下放了一個禮拜的牛角麵包。我氣餒的走回房間，突然聽到有人低聲喊到：「AlphaRedditor先生？我想我有些你正在找尋的東西。」是那個女員工的聲音，她示意我走到限定員工進入的房間門口前。 Curious, I approached her, thinking she was joking, hiding my Orgasm Crunch from me. When I got to the door she ushered me inside the room. It had a bed, dresser, no window, and barely separated restroom area (I later found out that this was an overflow room for emergencies when a spare guest room was absolutely needed). She was very business like in her proposition: if we have sex, I get the goods. She then pulled out a large cardboard box filled with about 50 Cinnamon Toast Crunch boxes inside. 我好奇的走向她，想說她開我玩笑，把我愛的脆片藏起來了。等我走到門前時，她帶我進去房間，裡頭有張床、衣櫥、沒窗戶，還有一個勉強分出來的浴室（後來我才發現這房間是為了避免房客太多沒房可睡時，應急用的。）她的提議非常商業口吻：如果我們做愛的話，我就能拿到我想要的東西。然後她拉出一箱塞滿五十盒肉桂吐司脆片的大紙箱。 I looked at her as if she had to be joking. She wasn't. I ate like a king for weeks. 我看著她像是在開玩笑吧。但是她沒有。之後我像個國王一樣吃了好幾個禮拜的脆片。 tl;dr: I'm a cereal whore. 長話短說：我是榖片男妓。 -- ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 125.233.147.43

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