[閒聊] 女人婚後有小孩變為強勢的相關問題
請教各位先進
如題是出自前日某報的Q&A,提問的丈夫苦惱於妻子婚前婚後的巨大轉變,
無法調適下最終發生外遇
他在懊悔罪惡的矛盾心情中尋求解決之道
該文稍長,我因為有事,沒有看完
不管如何,外遇總是不可輕易饒恕的
但身為男人,婚前的如膠似漆對比婚後的疏離,丈夫的失落我是可以理解的
然而單身已久的我卻對所謂"強勢"的形成似懂非懂
為母則強當然是形成主因,
但這時的"強勢"倒變成是自我中心、自我價值的強調
然而"強"不正應是為了孩子,可以產生前所未有的包容忍耐
為何會演變成為家中事務的強勢主導者呢?
我可以想像到如此畫面:
妻的情緒一來,對著想幫忙的夫:很笨捏,東西放哪裡都不知道!!走開啦 我自己來!
這大概是強勢的一種吧
照顧小孩一久,人不免疲累,她的色厲內荏、外強中乾
除了夫妻溝通協調角色、互相體諒支援之外
作丈夫的又該如何自處呢?
包容日久,一樣有壓抑的情緒啊
套句通俗的話
丈夫在外打拼奔波,他何嘗不色厲內荏、外強中乾呢?(非筆戰,請勿就此挑剔)
請教還有甚麼更具體的建議,讓普天下現在式、未來式的人夫可以學習的?
謝謝指導了
PS: 愛情的本質像夢,是虛幻不實的。外遇是不甘心夢醒之後,想再一嘗美夢的溫柔。
自己說得婚姻很"可怕",嗯..該自找麻煩,進入婚姻嗎?
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◆ From: 111.253.64.26
※ 編輯: mayirock 來自: 111.253.64.26 (09/15 09:38)
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我相當痛恨對婚姻不忠實的人,也不認為任何事可以當外遇的藉口。
結婚時男女不是都歡歡喜喜地說 要一輩子在一起嗎?
甚麼天長地久的 這樣諷刺的變化,要讓人相信甚麼?
常聽人說在婚姻中要懂得忍讓包容,但再也忍不下去的那天,
不就離婚嗎? 我並不滿意甚麼包容啊體諒啊的結論
我的問題是:請給男人具體正面的建議吧!
如果沒有建言,我寧願此文沉入網海!
※ 編輯: mayirock 來自: 111.253.64.26 (09/15 13:21)
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