[無言] 我弟說他剛剛被撒旦肛了...
(內有我弟的真實智障"人生"體驗 不喜勿入...)
晚上無聊,跟弟弟到家裡附近的屈臣氏閒晃買東西,排隊結帳的時候,
前面有一個看起來很憂愁的男生,問店員說:有"人生浣腸"嗎?
店員指了指我們旁邊的架子,剛好就在我們旁邊
我弟覺得超好奇的,因為他不知道那要幹嘛,所以也順手買了一個,
想說回去體驗一下甚麼是"人生" XDDD
回去看了說明書,他就進去浴室,開始他的"第一次"
我坐在客廳,邊跟他閒聊,一開始他話還很多,在那邊問:
「欸!要塞很進去嗎?」(隨便啦! 有進去就好了啦!)
「要蹲著擠還是站著擠啊?」 (你順手怎樣擠就怎樣擠啊!!)
「屁股要先洗嗎?」 (你就要拉了還洗個屁啦!!! ←已經快不耐煩了)
「欸! 那如果一次沒擠完怎麼辦啊?」 (..........再問我要過去揍人了)
然後他就突然一陣靜默,我想說,終於閉嘴了吧,等結束再問"感想",
然後廁所突然傳來驚天動地的哀號~~~~
「喔喔喔喔喔!!!! 姐!!!這怎麼可能憋得住啊啊啊啊啊~~~~~~~」
(要先憋三分鐘,不然沒用啦,吵死了,專心憋!)
「不可能啊啊啊啊啊~~~~~ 窩歐歐歐歐歐~~~~~~ 幹!!!我可不可以解開封印了啦」
(......)
然後裡面突然傳出一陣蓮蓬頭的水聲
(你在幹嘛? 上廁所為什麼要沖蓮蓬頭?)
「嚎痛啊啊啊啊!! 我要沖水讓自己冷靜一下啊啊啊啊~~~」
「我覺得肚子痛到連衣服都穿不住了呀~~~~」
「姐~~~我覺得撒旦要從屁眼爬出來了~~~~!!!」
我心裡OS:是你自己說要體驗看看的不是嗎 = =||| 能不能有點抗壓性啊
10分鐘之後,我走到廁所外面,發現門半開著,我弟竟然"側躺"在浴室地上!!!
嘴裡唸著「不要理我,讓我冷靜一下... 我現在好累...」
最後他終於一掰一掰的走出浴室,很凝重的告訴我說
「我他馬的再也不要把任何東西塞進我的菊花裡面了!! 還無痛浣腸勒 騙肖!」
(後記: 我弟奉勸沒體驗過"人生"的朋友們,還是不要輕易嘗試好了,
畢竟「讓撒旦從屁眼爬出來」的感覺,一點都不好玩...)
--
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