[無言] 生物防治法
我一個室友
他跟他公司裡面的女職員彼此曖昧
七夕那天下班
他興沖沖回到住處
從床底下撈出一個不大不小的禮物盒
說要跟那位女職員一起吃晚餐
希望能夠藉此交往
雖然我是酸酸魯蛇肥宅
但是仍然祝福他順利
大概是六點半出門吧
快九點的時候我室友就回來了
……
七夕耶
男女互相曖昧耶
還帶了禮物耶
這麼早回來啊捏乾丟
我當然要問這是怎麼回事
原來那位女職員曾經跟我室友抱怨
說他住處有打不完的蟑螂
大的小的都有
原因不明
不過恐怕跟樓下是夜市這點脫不了關係
我室友身為一位男子漢
當然要想辦法幫對方解決掉這個難題
後來決定用治本的生物防治法
於是他費盡心力抓了三隻喇牙
裝在塑膠魚缸裡養著
然後選定一個特別的日子
獻給對方
給他個驚喜
然後就是各位看倌想的那樣
我室友選擇在七夕
用漂亮的包裝紙將塑膠魚缸包裝起來
在吃晚餐的時候告訴女方「稍安勿躁,這是要給你的驚喜kerkerker」
兩人吃完以後散散步
接著我室友送對方回家
就在女方家樓下
室友引誘女方靠近禮物仔細盯著
然後瞬間抽掉包裝紙
一聲尖叫、一陣帶哭腔的痛罵
再之後就是我室友灰頭土臉的回來住處
聽完整齣
我拍拍室友安慰
說其實沒那麼嚴重
時間過了就消了
因為他沒有在吃飯當下要對方將禮物打開
現在我室友正在一邊講Skype
求女職員不要生他的氣
愛情啊~(/嘆氣)
--
※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc)
◆ From: 114.25.58.173
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