Re: [寫作班] 托福第33週 citc 3
看板ST-English作者excrement (the essence of love)時間15年前 (2009/05/20 05:47)推噓0(0推 0噓 0→)留言0則, 0人參與討論串2/2 (看更多)
Overall it's an well-organized essay, however, much wrong use of propositions
may disrupt reading. Some wording probelms also occur.
I will not point out every problem, just to name a few.
※ 引述《citc (leo)》之銘言：
: 3. When people need to complain about a product or poor service, some
: prefer to complain in writing and others prefer to complain in person.
: Which way do you prefer?
: People usually have opinions to services or products they bought. The
about
: communication is an important issue for people to transmit viewpoints.
~~~~~~~~~
"express their" might be better
: The feedbacks from consumers not only help the improvement of product but also
feedback--uncountable
: could examine the services after selling. In the store or shopping malls, the
: company provides special papers to survey the consumer's opinion. After
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~questionnaires?
: services, some people can score toward all aspects of services and give
: thoughts in the papers that was designed for survey. In the other hand, some
~~~~~~~~~~
Survey is countable. and it is "On" the other hand, although it's a bit
weird to use this phrase here.
: people do not satisfy with the service and then complain with seller directly.
: They prefer to complain with persons but in papers. For me, I prefer the
in person ~~~~~~~~~~~~??
: latter because the following reasons.
of
: First of all, face to face talking is more direct and correct to communication.
: We can describe the detail about unsatisfied affairs or problems to the
: business quickly. Sometimes sellers may be confused with their consumer’s
: writing, especially in the situation that consumers could not describe the
: detail patiently. Therefore, I think that complaining in person is more
: efficient to discuss about problems.
: Secondly, the seller can quickly respond and solve the problem when we complain
: in person. For example, in the restaurant I always ask the servants to clear
: the unclear table that makes me uncomfortable. In the moment, the waiter could
: quickly clean the table and environments. In contrast, writing papers have the
: disadvantage that we can not receive the response right away. If we could not
: get the response from the company, it would seem like that people's opinions
: were ignored.
The final sentence is weird. I dont understand how it is related to
the previous sentence?
: To sum up, the company should like to understand consumer's criticism in order
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ a rare construction.
: to progress the quality in services or products. If we are glad to give
~~~~~~~~~~~
It seems that you like to add some descriptive phrases (like to, glad to)
but it's unnecessary as sometimes it makes little sense.
: opinions, that will be helpful for them. Although complaining in writing can
: avoid the embarrassment of sellers, that provide lower efficiency than doing
it provides
: in person. Therefore, I prefer to communicate my complaints with persons. By
: this way, people will have more opportunity to enjoy nice services and products
: again.
As said, I just pointed out a few wording/grammatical problems. however,
these examples should be able to serve good illustrations for you to
improve.
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