Re: [寫作班] 托福第29週 mechtec
看板ST-English作者excrement (the essence of love)時間15年前 (2009/02/21 07:46)推噓1(1推 0噓 0→)留言1則, 1人參與討論串2/2 (看更多)
I will focus on organization here.
※ 引述《mechtec (小豆)》之銘言：
: ※ 引述《dvlin (Dee)》之銘言：
: : 1. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better to
: : be a member of a group than to be the leader of a group.
: In my opinion, no item is superior to the other one. A member of a group has
: to learn how to finish works under the leader's governing. On the contrary,
: a leader may not handle one work or solve one problem. He must govern or
: control the processes and schedule of all the works of this group.
: The ability of management is important for a successful leader.
It is a nice introduction that lays out your argument. However, some sentences
seem unfinished. For example, "a leader may not handle one work or solvr one
problem." If it ends here, the reader would wonder, why? So it might be
clearer if it was revised as, "A leader can not handle the work or solve
problems alone without working with other group memebers." And you give
reasons for this arguement next. And the last sentence seems unrelated to
why the leader needs other group members to finish the work?
: In one word, a person with the ability of solving problem. He is suitable to
: be a member. However, a person who was trained to have the solve-problemed
: ability and furmore learned how to govern a group, he will be a learder.
This paragraph seems unrelated to your argument. For example, a person who
can solve problems can be a leader too. Therefore, the paragraph seems a
little bit unclear. maybe you want to elaborate this more with some
examples.
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※ 編輯: excrement 來自: 128.205.231.174 (02/21 07:48)
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02/21 19:10, , 1F
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