[轉錄]Re: 轉貼 亞拉岡的秘密日記
※ [本文轉錄自 NccuEco_BMT 看板]
作者: wenzhi (想和妳在一起) 看板: NccuEco_BMT
標題: [轉錄]Re: 轉貼 亞拉岡的秘密日記
時間: Mon Dec 30 01:56:56 2002
※ [本文轉錄自 joke 看板]
作者: mecheers (dans vos yeux) 看板: joke
標題: Re: 轉貼 亞拉岡的秘密日記
時間: Mon Dec 30 00:47:19 2002
啾! 金屁的秘密日記
DAY ONE
Grr. Argh.
第一天
吼~嘎嘎~~
DAY TWO
Faffing about in Rivendell with stuck-up elves v. bad for my digestion.
Have asked Elrond to move me to second floor as cannot get into bathroom
here without being subjected to sight of hobbits bathing amongst scented
candles. Is ridiculous. Got splashed with strawberry bath foam yesterday.
On plus side, beard now silky and conditioned.
第二天
在瑞文戴爾跟驕傲的精靈們瞎搞, 會害我消化不良。
要求愛隆王讓我搬到二樓去, 因為一進浴室就會看到哈比人
在燭光中洗著泡泡浴。太荒謬了。
昨天還被草莓沐浴泡泡潑到。
好的方面, 我的鬍子現在整齊光滑又柔順。
DAY THREE
Elrond refuses to move my room. Walked in on hobbits again this morning.
What WERE they doing with that carrot? Inbred bunch of halfwits,
no wonder they can't even grow decent beards.
第三天
愛隆王不讓我換房間。今早又撞見哈比人。
他們到底用那根胡蘿蔔在~幹~嘛~~ 這群天生的笨蛋,
難怪留不出像樣的鬍子。
DAY SEVEN
Suspect Aragorn son of Arathorn of being pervy hobbit-fancier.
Completely ignoring hottie elf fiancEe in favor of barging about with
hairy-footed gnomes in leather breeches.
Fortunately I, Gimli son of Gloin, am here to take care of her loneliness.
Later.
Elf women just the right height to keep my ears warm. Go me!
第七天
我懷疑亞拉鬆之子亞拉乾可能是變態哈比控。
把漂亮的精靈未婚妻冷落一旁,
只喜歡在穿馬褲又有毛腳的小鬼身邊晃來晃去。
幸好有我,葛羅音之子金屁, 在這裡排解她的寂寞。
( 稍晚 )
女精靈們的身高正好可以溫暖我的耳朵。哈哈~~!
DAY NINE
Have agreed to go on Quest. Arwen getting awfully grabby.
Gimli son of Gloin will not be tied down. Would rather spend time
with touchy-feely hobbits and poncy elves than hang about Rivendell
taking about 'our relationship.'
第九天
答應參加遠征。亞聞開始索求無度。
葛羅音之子金屁才不會被她綁住。
與其留在瑞文戴爾談我們之間的關係,
我寧願把時間花在卿卿我我的哈比人和娘娘腔的精靈身上。
DAY THIRTEEN
V. cold on top of Caradhras. Big fight over who got to carry hobbits up
the mountain. Did not participate as was busy showing Legolas how to
get hair braided just right. Fight ended when Aragorn picked up
Ringbearer and stuffed him in his trousers. That's right, Isildur's Heir.
Suffocate the Ringbearer. Honestly, these people.
第十三天
卡蘭拉斯山頂好冷。大家搶著抱哈比人上山, 打了一架。
我沒加入, 因為當時正忙著教勒茍拉斯如何綁漂亮的辮子。
幹架的結果是亞拉乾一把抓起魔戒持有者塞進他褲子裡。
幹得好, 埃西鐸的後代。
悶死他吧。把這些人悶死更好。
DAY FOURTEEN
In Mines of Moria. May have made slight miscalculation,
as it seems that cousin Balin has been dead for at least sixty years.
Suppose it should have occurred to me that has been a while since
last got Christmas card from the Moria folks. Still, cannot be expected
to keep track of everything.
第十四天
在摩瑞亞礦坑裡。小小估算錯誤
看來巴林表哥已經死了至少六十年。我應該早想到的,
上次摩瑞亞的親戚寄聖誕卡來有好一陣子了。
還是不能指望跟每個人都保持聯繫。
DAY FIFTEEN
Gandalf fell into shadow. Hobbits used as excuse to have teary
cuddlefest on rocks. Suffered manly embrace from Boromir,
although he kept jabbing Horn of Gondor into my solar plexus.
At least, hope that was the Horn of Gondor. Does not bear thinking
about if not.
第十五天
柑道夫掉進黑暗深淵裡。
哈比人用這個當藉口在岩石上哭著摟摟抱抱。
波羅莫的擁抱讓我很痛苦,他一直用剛鐸的號角捅我的太陽穴。
起碼我希望那是剛鐸的號角。如果不是…噁…我連想都不敢想。
DAY SIXTEEN
Legolas told me Aragorn is way into Frodo.
Sam will kill him if he tries anything. Suggested to Legolas that
we might want a leader who is less of a lech. Legolas then asked
if I wanted to take a bath with him. Beginning to suspect that
all that Elvish poetry about the glory of warrior-bonds between men
just big cover-up for illicit spanking games.
第十六天
熱狗拉斯告訴我亞拉乾在把佛羅多。
他如果敢幹麻, 山姆會宰了他。
跟熱狗拉斯提議也許我們要一個不那麼好色的人來帶隊。
然後熱狗拉斯問我要不要跟他一起洗澡。
開始懷疑精靈詩歌裡面,
戰士們間的情誼其實只是在掩飾不正當的下流遊戲。
DAY TWENTY
In Lothlorien. Galadriel quite the babe. While hobbits off power
cuddling and Boromir chasing Aragorn, had time to show her a few dwarf
tricks. Nothing fancy, just a bit of Hide the Helmet and
Delving In The Mines. V. satisfactory for everyone,
except possibly Celeborn. On second thought, maybe that was Celeborn.
Cannot much tell difference with elves.
第二十天
在羅斯洛立安。凱蘭崔爾真是個辣妹。哈比人忙著摟摟抱抱,
波羅蜜忙著追亞拉乾, 所以我就有時間秀些矮人把戲給她看。
也沒什麼特別啦, 不過就是那些頭盔在哪裡和挖深洞的把戲。
每個人都很滿意, 大概只有賽勒鵬例外。
呃… 那「應該是」賽勒鵬吧。實在分不出精靈的長相。
DAY TWENTY-TWO
Left Lothlorien. Have been paddling in boats for days.
Am getting v. lonely. Hobbits looking not so bad. Rather cute in fact,
despite mullet haircuts. Cannot get near Frodo without getting bitten
on kneecaps by Sam, and Pippin dating Boromir, so will see if perhaps
Merry wants to take a nice moonlit stroll tonight.
Hurrah for warrior-bonds between men.
第二十二天
離開羅斯洛立安。划船划了好幾天, 好寂寞啊…。
哈比人看來其實不差啦,應該說是很可愛, 只是髮型很蠢。
一接近佛羅多 山姆就會咬我的膝蓋, 皮聘和波羅蜜在約會,
我要去問問梅里今晚想不想來個啵棒的月下散步。
萬歲!戰士間的情誼!!
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