Re: [閒聊] Mad TV 小短劇
※ 引述《samchiu (閒祭秋)》之銘言：
: ※ 引述《daisy7781 (囧囧有神)》之銘言：
: : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JImyMGNQSs&feature=related
: : 笑到肚子痛
我找到了劇本，同時把之前的翻譯也更新了
還是不懂 Addie 的 Mc情史
原文如下
http://www.planetmadtv.com/forum/showthread.php?t=9737
(Grey's Antamoy logo is shown, cuts to a room with Montgomery,
Stevens and Bailey with a patient whose foaming at the mouth)
Montgomery: Your fiance's been dead for three days,
you should get back into the dating scene
Stevens: I don't need dating tips from someone
who thinks it's OK to cheat on McDreamy with McSteamy
Montgomery: Cheating on McDreamy with McSteamy is OK
because I was moving up the McGeemy ladder,
it starts with McQueeny then McSweeny
followed my McDreamy then McSteamy,
the brass ring is McSupremey,
who, rumor has it, is French and lives in a castle
(Yang enters)
Yang: Is there an operation going on here, can I help,
please, please, I beg of you, I'm the best right, right
(Grey enters and knocks Yang over)
Grey: Are you guys talking about relationships,
please, please, let me talk about mine, please, I beg of you
(O'Malley enters and knocks Grey over)
O'Malley: Are you guys in the middle of an interesting story line,
please let me be in it, my character slept with a bone doctor
(Bailey enters and knocks O'Malley over)
Bailey: What the heck are all my interns doin in here,
will you stop talking about yourselves and start helping people
and why am I in here,
my husband has a brain tumor and I just had a baby
and why am I talking so loud ?
Montgomery: Oh my god, it's a patient,
I've been so focused on relationships that
I've forgotten how to practice medicine.
We're gonna have to call in a specialist
Yang: Who
Montgomery: I know, McMeany
(House logo appears, House walks out of elevator and into hospital room,
knocking Bailey over)
House: Can anyone here write a Vicadin perscription
for the most confident, well adjusted,
drug addicted doctor in the world
Montgomery: Dr House, we have a woman here
and we don't know what's wrong with her
House: There's nothing I can do for that woman (points cane at Yang)
Yang: No, not me, the woman on the bed
House: She's pregnant, the baby comes out that hole, goodbye
(House and Montgomery are in hallway)
Montgomery: House, you just can't leave that woman
House: Listen nurse
Montgomery: I'm a doctor
House: You're not a doctor, you're a whore
Montgomery: Sheesh, that wasn't witty at all, that was just flat out mean
House: Sorry, when your wise crack all day,
some of them are bound to get awat from you
Montgomery: (pushes House against the wall)
Listen to me House, I'm the only doctor in this hospital
who has slept with both McDreamy and McSteamy,
so I know my way around this place,
and there is more going on with that woman than just being pregnant
House: (pushes Montgomery against the wall)
You've been with both McDreamy and McSteamy,
I'm just tying to picture you in betweeny
Montgomery: (pushes House against the wall)
Look, you better go in there and save her,
you disgusting pig, and I have to say "disgusting pig"
because Grey's Anatomy's a show written for women by women
House: (pushes Montgomery against the wall)
I'm trying to tell you, I don't know
what's wrong with your patient,
but I do I've got a huge erection
and I have to say that because House is written
by men for women who like abusive men
(lets go of Montgomery and gropes her breasts)
Looks like someone just grazed your anatomy
Montgomery: Wait, when you go like that, I mean you know, it's not
(cut back to hospital room with both House and Montgomery there,
House writes something on the wall)
House: Alright, the patient has an excess of saliva, any thoughts
Grey: Yes, I think I'm going to take it slow with McDreamy
Montgomery: You should because you don't want to lose McDreamy,
I did by sleeping with McSteamy
Stevans: McSteamy's a jerk, not like my fiance who's a great man,
before I killed him
O'Malley: That was an intersting story line,
my character sleeps with women and then they cry
Burke: (enters) Maybe it's because your a homo
Grey: Hey, don't call him a Homo
Burke: I didn't call him a homo
O'Malley: Yes you did, it's the third time you've called me a homo,
twice on set and once at the Golden Globes
Burke: Not true, see you later, homo
(Burke runs out)
Yang: While you guys were talking, I took out the patient's lung,
I'm the best, right
House: Well you're the best at ruining a pefectly good erection...
wait a minute...excess saliva, removeable lung, pregnant,
this woman has classsic Vinyetta Syndrome,
the only way to save the baby is
to smother the mother with a pillow
Bailey: You can't do that
House: Just watch me, you mushroomed-haired-hobbit
(walks over to patient)
Lack of oxygen will build pressure in the mother's vagina
and the kid should shoot right out,
you, Baby-Voice, get your catchers mit ready
(Grey pulls out a catchers mit)
One, two, three, smother
(smothers patient, baby pops out into catchers mit)
Excellent, now, recesatate the mother
Stevens: We can't, she's dead
House: Hmm, would've worked on my show
Montgomery: I know a show that can save her
(ER logo pops up)
END
-----------
Michael McDonald- Hugh Laurie (Dr. Gregory House)
Nicole Parker- Kate Walsh (Dr. Addison Montgomery)
Arden Myrin- Katherine Heigl (Dr. Isobel "Izzie" Stevens)
Bobby Lee- Sandra Oh (Dr. Cristina Yang)
Crista Flanagan- Ellen Pompeo (Dr. Meredith Grey)
Nicole Randall Johnson- Chandra Wilson (Dr. Miranda Bailey)
Keegan Michael Key- Isaiah Washington (Dr. Preston Burke)
Extra- T.R Knight (George O'Malley)
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