Re: [寫作] 請各位幫我改作文...
※ 引述《jt910203 (aa)》之銘言：
: 這題目是中級複試的
: 題目是要寫出電子郵件對我們的影響之類的
英檢作文都有比較嚴格的主題限制。必須確定該講到的都有講到。
: With the development of the Internet,e-mail is getting more and more popular,
『more and more popular』之後應該是句點。個人覺得你很多斷句的地方都是
隨興式的。以這句來說，『電子郵件很普遍』和 『我們不能沒有電子郵件』，
這兩句我覺得不能直接放在一起，除非你有用其他的意念連接起來。
例如：
With the advent of the Internet in the last ten years, electronic mail,
a digital way of exchanging messages, has become so popular that most
people can't live without it.
: we nearly can not do any work without e-mail. For example, I am used to
『nearly』用在這很怪。查一下字典看看。
: logging my e-mail to receive some pieces of news and entertainment
: information that will kill my boring time and make me relax. The most
這一句有一點繞舌。也許可以這樣：
Take myself as an example, upon arriving at the office, the first thing
I do is to check the email, where I make contacts with my friends and
colleagues, as well as receiving up-to-date information and news
via the RSS web feed technology.
: important function of email for me, is to hand out my papers to professors.
For a college student like myself, online submitting homeworks,
assignments, and projects is another indispensable capability of email.
: E-mail is also playing an important role in business. For instance, in my
我覺得這句話和上一句要分段。也就是說，你現在開始要講 email 的商業用途。這
和前面是兩件事。
先點出主題句：
Email also plays an important role in business operation.
再給範例：
: intern company, they always use e-mail to do a lot of things like checking
: the order list or businessing with clients. It can save more time and money
: than traditional methods like telephone and letter.
For example, one of the lessons that I learned in my summer internship at
a local trading company is that, today's business correpondence is conducted
exclusively via electronic mails, thereby saving tremendous amounts of time
and money, comparing to traditional communication methods such as
telephones and postal delivery services.
: As a result, e-mail is so convenient for all of us.
結尾很弱。要想一個好的結論。
The ubiquitous indispensability of email has reshaped the world. In so many
ways that our daily life has been affected by the availability of emails.
I can't imagine what a disaster it would be for even one day
without email.
: 請各位大大幫我改一下,並且幫我看看這樣的水準...複試會不會過
: 3q!
我沒有考過中級，不過猜想應該會過才對。其實寫得不錯。
※ 編輯: hoch 來自: 120.126.36.193 (01/30 09:25)
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