2021/1/6已刪文
Today I went back to my high school.
My family had gone to dinner and to the bowling alley and left me home alone with my two brothers.
I tried to stay on the phone and shut out their petty squabbles but they refused to respect my boundaries.
So I opened up the phone and called a mutual friend of ours.
It turned out that a friend of his had gone missing and I needed to be the one to find her.
Before I knew it I was heading off to the local police station to learn how to properly use a radar gun.
My uncle had sent me a card with money for gas and I spent it all on the tank.
Then I learned how to use the radar gun.
Then I practiced for two hours until I felt like I was passing the test.
In the end it took me so long because the police station was two miles away from my house and I was terrified of being late and then having to face my family.
As I passed every street light I was afraid that I had missed it, so I slowed down and made it back in one piece.
In the end the officer couldn't find my friend so I drove back home, feeling embarrassed and self conscious about having spent so much gas driving back and forth.
On my way home I started to think about when I was a teenager.
I used to walk for hours on end trying to find the right boyfriend.
And I thought of the girls who had no courage.
I felt sorry for them and embarrassed for myself.
I felt like my family's money had always gotten me out of a jam, but had only brought me more heartache.
On my way home I stopped at my uncle's house and he got up to talk to me for a while.
He is in his sixties and has suffered a few strokes and is still dealing with the after effects.
I felt bad that I had bothered him, but we had talked for about twenty minutes when he said, "You know, I think that the universe should have a balance.
There are many times when bad things happen to people and they wonder why they were unlucky, why they were taken by surprise.
And they get bitter and angry and choose not to take any more chances.
""That is the universe telling you that it wants you to take a chance," he said.
"I think you should go back there and you should go back to school and you should learn a trade and you should always have a job.
Take a chance.
You have too much at stake not to take a chance.
"
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