[轉錄]兩個前途無量的八年級小孩
※ [本文轉錄自 TuTsau 看板]
作者: Bluebear (布魯塞爾的布魯貝爾) 站內: TuTsau
標題: 兩個前途無量的八年級小孩
時間: Fri Sep 10 02:10:47 2004
昨天晚上老媽的朋友帶她小孩到我們家吃飯
她幫兩個小鬼(小一、小三)夾好飯菜
我就帶著他們一邊看電視一邊吃
兩個小朋友看到碗裡的青椒
猶豫了很久,還是咬著牙吃下去
我因為吃飯不喜歡配菜所以根本就沒夾
小鬼看到我碗裡除了湯泡飯之外空無一物
就說：
『猴~~大姐接你不乖,你沒有吃青菜,我們老師會把你送給亡人腐!!』
我聽了差點把湯噴出來：『你...你說什麼?』
『我們老師說,小朋友不可以不吃青菜,不吃青菜不乖,老師說他不喜歡不乖的小朋友,
如果你不乖,就要把你送給亡人腐!!亡人腐會打你!』
『對啊!亡人腐每次都嘛用棍子打西瓜葛格!!亡人腐最討厭了!!』
............~~(￣ー￣；)
(謎之聲:敢問這位榮獲師鐸獎&諾貝爾獎的優良教師...是哪一位板眾?請受小人一拜 orz )
『嗯...好...大姐姐也不喜歡亡人腐...』(回到桌邊夾了兩片小黃瓜意思意思)
小鬼看到我夾了菜,很開心的拍手：『大姐傑沒有不乖,不用送給亡人腐!!』
『好...趕快吃喔!我們吃飽了才有力氣,一起去電視裡面打亡人腐!!』
==時光飛逝分隔線=時光飛逝分隔線=時光飛逝分隔線=時光飛逝分隔線=時光飛逝分隔線==
吃完飯,小鬼們很自動的看起了卡通
這期間轉台時有經過完全娛樂,但是小孩看到人妖腐就指著他開始尖叫....
『壞人壞人!!』
『打人的壞人!!』 .......╮(╯▽╰)╭
小孩...你們可知道你們的傑出表現,大姐姐看在眼裡,心中有多感動...(泣)
可能白天他們去動物園玩得太累,不一會兒就打起瞌睡
妹妹的眼睛都已經瞇起來,哥哥還在硬撐著(假裝很認真的看電視,頭卻點個沒完 ^^)
我姐回來看到就叫我帶他們去和室睡一下
小朋友夢遊似的進了和室,哥哥幾乎一躺下去就睡著了
妹妹突然說：『葛格你沒有先去尿尿,等一下你睡覺會偷尿尿!!』
『才不會!』
『好了,都不准吵,不乖乖睡覺等一下虎姑婆會來把你抓走喔!!』
(天!虎姑婆!?我是什麼年代啊?!>"<)
『我才不怕虎姑婆!!』
『我也不怕虎姑婆!!葛格你最沒用了!!你...你...你怕菜一林!』... ⊙◇⊙" (驚)
『我哪有?我最乖!我睡覺都很乖...(咽)』
『你睡覺偷尿尿不乖!!馬麻說不乖的小孩要送給菜一林吃掉!』
『你才送給菜一林吃掉!菜一林只要一口就可以把你吞進去!!』
(兩人就吵了起來,吵著吵著哥哥眼睛就紅了...後來因為哭累了睡著~~)ˋ(′～‵")ˊ
後來我坐在客廳看電視
望著和室的紙門
想著那裡有兩個前途無量的孩子正熟睡著......
想著一定要上來吐板問一下
這麼用心良苦、這麼春風化雨的老師
以及家教嚴謹、這麼偉大這麼有遠見的母親
我想除了睿智的吐板之外,很難再有別的產地了...
........(￣▽￣＃)﹏﹏
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