[心得] 2007國小英語教師甄試-Die Hard with a Vengeance消失
在進入到下一點前，我要先說一句：
I don’t CARE if you give homework.
NO KIDS WOULD LISTEN TO IT if you don’t write it on the board.
It’s USELESS, SILLY and WASTE OF TIME if you just say it out loud,
“記得要寫第XX頁到第XX頁的XXX還有practice今天教的句型和單字喔~”
到底是哪隻豬頭師資班培訓教授教你們要這樣做的啊？他們沒教過小學是吧？
(是啊！這還用你說？) 你以為當聽到剩一分鐘就結束的一聲短鈴時、花幾秒『交代』
一下作業，我們評審會多給你分數嗎？反而倒扣都有可能！
這裡有幾個方式供參考：
(1) 準備小白板(那種10元商店就買得到的)，上面你早已寫了Listening: _______
Writing: _______. 然後你邊交代本週homework、邊寫上記號(ex. Eng. (X3)表示單字
寫三遍、要畫圖輔助的話寫上pic…etc.)表示學生跟你之間已達成某種程度的默契。
(2) 拿出一張寫好homework的紙板，貼在黑板，快速講過都沒關係，因為他們已經看到
白紙黑字了。又可顯現你前置作業做得很周全、明白自己要達到的進度。
(3) 乾脆不要交代作業。我分數打得高的幾位、那些個超過85分的厲害角色，沒有人搞
這玩意兒的！你前面十幾分鐘都一級棒、讓人大開眼界了，誰在意你有沒有給作業？
不過還是那句話，要、就做到超棒；不然就別碰、露出馬腳。
※ 注意：千萬不要只說：「回去『複習』XX句型和單字。」怎樣複習？跟你電話對答
嗎？看DVD嗎？聽廣播嗎？跟家人練習？還是自己看書就可以？你可以假設小朋友都有
買VCD/CD, 就可以要他們聽哪些個track，甚至發下『親子練習單』的簡易作業
(就是只有check if you listen to the tape/CD的那種)，也是很周全呀~
※ 我看到有幾位考生秀出自己辛苦擠出的worksheet，卻又只是像總統府秘書長
卓榮泰那樣拿收據般地晃兩下！蠢！你幹嘛不多印幾張、現場發給評審呢？
兩個縣市加起來六十幾位應考者、沒有超過五位這樣做… 不知道這些師資班的
培育教授腦子裡裝啥？(當然，要先罵考生！不會去補習班、學校找名師來看你教學嗎？
故步自封、閉門造車、實不可取也~)
※ 我也看到有幾位直接拿粉筆在這麼緊迫釘人的試教時間裡、慢條斯里的在黑板上
『寫將起』作業項目來… 我只能說，你頭殼壞去嗎？
好的，語氣重了點，不過不吐不快呀！(只評審、不說話，只打分數、不能罵，
讓人頭好暈…加上中場休息時間少之又少，接二連三的『極品』折磨，簡直是要我
老命！)
MM: 那肥蝙蝠你倒是說說看，你理想中的試教該具備啥呢？(眾卿家：「是啊是啊！
你自己又有多厲害？哼！」)
在麥當勞待了半個小時(草莓聖代不錯吃)，我想出26點。每一點都只用一個單字或
一個詞做最重點整理。時間不夠你可以只看underline words…
有什麼想法，想補充的，隨時歡迎您加入！
(我們從進教室那一刻開始算好嗎？)
A. Rhyme. Either for classroom management or WAKING KIDS UP. Better be
self-made, repetitive and fun.
B. Story (or storybook). You can connect all the NEW WORDS with a short
but interesting story. Or you can introduce some picture book(s) related
to the TOPIC you’re going to talk about.
C. Routine Work. Greetings like “What day is today?” “How’s the
weather?” “How are you doing today?” or Password Activity such as
REVIEWING SP of LAST WEEK.
D. Morning Message (or Afternoon Message). Listing THINGS WE’RE GOING
TO DO or TOPICS WE’RE GOING TO COVER in this period on a folio piece of
newsprint (對開的白報紙). Might as well have kids CORRECT the errors or
mistakes AND FILL IN THE BLANKS you purposely leave for them to practice.
E. Song or Chant. With basic SIGHT WORDS or NEW WORDS and STRONG RHYTHM or
FUNNY LYRICS.
F. Gesture and Facial Expression. To snap, clap, point, stamp, shake,
stretch, turn around, make face, whistle.. whatever. To put P.E. and English
together. It’d be great, ain’t it?
G. Fingerplay. Actually you can integrate this with A. or E. (above).
This “hands-on” experience is more worthwhile than drills, isn’t it?
H. Puppet Show. A great vehicle to show your VOICE(s). A fine tool to link
the LEARNED SP & WORDS. A wonderful opportunity to use your PRETTY ENGLISH.
Oh, and FINGER PUPPET is also cool~
I. Encouragement. Words like “You guys are so GREAT!” “Smart boy~~”
“Excellent job!” “Terrific!” usually spice up the demo, and PHYSICAL
CONTACT like Thumb War or High Five, Low Five, On the Side always make you
kids’ idol.
J. Guessing Game. Get the audience involved in BRAINSTORMING. If related
to the NEW WORDS being taught, well, that’s ICING ON THE CAKE then~ super~
K. Sight Word teaching. I wonder WHY THERE’S NO ONE DOING THIS… Isn’t it
a necessity? You bring it up and then go right into SP & f/c teaching.
Wouldn’t it be more efficient?
L. Basic SP & f/c teaching. It’s so weird I never see people doing
BACKWARD BUILD-UP DRILL. Only the REPETITION DRILL & SINGLE-SLOT SUBSTITUTION
DRILL. Since you guys favor ALM, why not do the whole charade?
M. Point and Read. Give out small copies (about quarter of A4-size paper)
to the audience and have them POINT TO THE WORDS WHEN EVERYONE READS THEM.
You can stop whenever you want, read it fast or slowly as you like, just to
check if THEIR FINGERS POINT TO THE RIGHT WORD. Or, you can do that with the
content of student book, too.
N. Bug Box or Mood-meter. It’s gonna be FUN for classroom management! Get
a ROUND BOX for storing fruits and PUT ONE BUG (rubber roach, spider…
anything that’s sold in toy store) IN THE BOX IF (acting out) SOME KIDS
MISBEHAVE. And the Mood-meter is what I invented… well, hmm, if you reply
me I’ll show you what it looks like.
O. Readers teaching. Suppose you have been teaching kids READERS on a regular
basis. Now take out your SAMPLE (better be eye-catchers, like Dr. Seuss or
Reading A to Z) and read a page or two. I assure you… we’ll be awake…:P
P. RT Script. “Now take out your RT script, My Five Senses… Where were we?
OK. Team C, please read altogether. Ready? Go~” Using a few copies of only
ONE PAGE OF THE SCRIPT and do this “action”, you can WIN OUR HEARTS. Or
ANYBODY’S HEART.
Q. Group Work. As I said earlier, I haven’t seen a single test-taker doing
this. Just prepare 5~6 envelopes, with gizmos in it, give instructions, set
time limit, and you can MAKE US BELIEVE you’re capable of doing COOPERATIVE
-LEARNING or TASK-BASED ACTIVITIES.
R. Oral Test. Either put it in the 1st half of your demo or the 2nd half.
Get some NAME CARDS ready (not too fancy, as long as the NAMES are
recognizable) and pretend that you’re GIVING ORAL TEST to certain group of
kids. I guess it’s quite crucial in REAL CLASSROOM SITUATIONS, right?
S. Check / Collect Homework. Get group leaders or class leader or WHOEVER
RESPONSIBLE for it to COLLECT WORKBOOKS, EXERCISE BOOKS or WHATEVER WORKSHEET
you gave them as homework. Just a few SENTENCES as ORDERS. Speak it out loud
with a smile. Simple as that.
T. Writing teaching. Better put some readymade lined strips on the board.
Trace, write or Q & A to check if the audience understands. Also, having
kids SHOW YOU THEIR FINGERs AND WRITE ON THE AIR WITH YOU is a cute way.
U. Students’ Great Works Sharing. You can show the DELUXE version
(laminated handouts) or the COMMERCIAL version (checked worksheet or exercise
books) to the audience and POINT OUT WHAT YOU LIKE A LOT and WHAT THEY CAN DO
BETTER. Cultivating appreciation and democracy as well.
V. Worksheet. If it looks like mediocre publishing stuff, I suggest you keep
it to yourself. UNIQUE, REAL USEFUL, SHOWING THAT YOU’RE ABLE TO MAKE
WORKSHEET/HANDOUT ON YOUR OWN. That’s what we want to see.
W. Score Chart. I don’t know if ALL THE ACTIVITIES I’ve mentioned above
you’ve jammed within 10~15 mins can’t guarantee you a shoo-in, what else
can I say. You still need a score chart? Make it a “Wow~ Geez!” then.
X. Smile. Need to say more? Just remember… don’t chuckle. We want to see
your confidence, not embarrassment.
Y. English. If good, that’s surely a bonus. If not so ASTONISHING, at least
PASSABLE, please. We don’t crave for native-speaker-like accent, but don’t
make a fool of yourself by speaking like LOCAL KING.
Z. Game. See the reason I put this as the LAST ONE? If you’ve done the
previous 25 things. Why bother? But if you MUST play one or two to SATISFY
YOURSELF, DO PLAY THE NEW & SURPRISING ONES. I’ll BURN your freaking hammer
for crying out loud, I swear to god. I dare you, I DOUBLE dare you!
那有沒有短一點的建議？….
多看、多聽、多練、多被念。
我跟幾位輔導員聊過，她們說一些初出茅廬的「準英語教師」，也許知道輔導員是很好
的練習觀眾、請益對象，但就算熟識也不會想約個時間演示一下、讓人指點。想當初
我們自己要甄試前，誰不是跑透透找名師教導？我甚至和幾個同學組成【一定要考上團】
，每星期固定練個幾天、還互評自評、彼此觀摩教具製作、教案撰寫，每個單元都教爛
了！說夢話還會講”Great job~”。每次拖著疲憊的身體回家時，心想：
『如果這樣都考不上，老子我不爽再考一次了！開補習班去！』
面對現在有些七年級或六年級尾巴的考生，這種『正式上台試教才是第一次教』的自甘
墮落心態，我只能嘆口氣，用我慣用的幾字對句來表達我對他們的景仰…
怕丟臉、就真丟臉，怕出錯、就全是錯。
考前心臟練強一點，不然考後眼淚就存多一點吧！
準備應考之時問問你自己，我是要求得一份溫飽、還是希望在這份工作裡發揮所學、
造福人群？如果只是隨波逐流、得過且過，那我只能說『收留』你的縣市很衰。
因為要『拔掉』一個不適任教師簡直比阿扁下台還難…阿扁下台有多難？
(OS: 「北京城有多高？」「九丈九…」「就這麼高！」)你看現在誰當家？
我相信Ali G和Borat這兩個縣市考上的正式教師，都是頂尖的教學達人(而且也很會
背書考試)，真的是縣民、學童之福！以上我舉出來的『誇張式教學法』，也應該是
屬於來陪考的考生獨有。大家暫且不必擔心… 不過，一般教師教學，是否會犯這些
毛病？老實說，就像第一篇文章開宗明義：這也讓我好好反省自己上課流程及
口說能力。我確實也犯了其中些許錯誤，像有時上課太過drill呀、或太過花俏
而失去重點… 等，但提出來跟大家討論，就是希望聽聽不同意見(或類似想法)。
不過精采的創新教法(也許只是我沒看過而大驚小怪.. :P)我也收錄了不少，right?
所以寫了這麼多拉里拉雜的東東，最終目的是… 自勉。That’s it.
And.. 咱們也共勉吧！
Keep up the good work.
But if your work ain’t good enough.. MAKE IT WORK, PAL!
PS. 有人擔心肥蝙蝠我用字太過犀利尖酸，會不會得罪一干人等？老話一句：
朋友本就不多、不欠那幾個。敵人本就不少、不怕多一些。
我是… 不˙吐˙不˙快啊~~~
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
實在很多很亂... sorry, 所以想看詳細圖文解說版的同學 請到:
http://blog.yam.com/fatbat666/article/10992579
Fatbastard... 不、是Fatbat的囈語 http://blog.yam.com/fatbat666
已有不少信件寄來或直接跟我在網上討論.. 大家都好認真啊~~~ *^_^*
--
~~~Royale with cheese~~~
--
※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc)
◆ From: 61.223.67.175