i did every possible way to make you uncomfortable and upset
that's why i didn't play by your book at all this fime
that's why i didn't talk unless you said something
and made it as uncomfortable as it can be
that's why i played with my phone until you cant stand it
that's why i feel satisfied when i saw your smile and cool faded.
that's why i feel the taste of victory
when i made the talk completely out of your control,
the second i saw the confident on your face.
you dont care so why should i?
want to talk about being yourself?
you're not the only one who has it
this is the real me, this is me being myself.
and i'm not sorry or feeling bad for this
the only thing i feel bad is i failed my expectation for being a better person.
the moment you decide to not involve is the moment i become cruel
maybe i'm the one who direct everything
pushig you cornered you until you said you give up
so i could say i knew it.
this is done with subtlety and unconsciousness since i've been practicing this
since i was three
why should i be sorry when you dont treat me nicely?
i'm even feeling a little regret not bringing up
the point that would have hurt you more.
i tried my best for not being self centered and selfish
cause i want to be a better person
you think i don't have it like you?
you dont deserve my efforts.
yes
attacking people is the most efficient way for me to cope with codependance
when i feel angey and cold i dont feel sad or depress
this is the surviving kits i have
i should use it whatever i like
at least i won't be feeling helpless
hahahahaha
the world is still the same after all these years
not much difference from the time i was three
what changes is i know better about how to hurt those who hurts me first.
maybe it's because of myself that my world stays crappy
hahahahahahaa
wish there's a way to end it right away,
i resent that i have to wake up everyday to deal with it
--
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◆ From: 74.72.176.99
※ 編輯: hesione 來自: 74.72.176.99 (11/04 22:22)
※ 編輯: hesione 來自: 74.72.176.99 (11/04 22:26)
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