[創作] 腦殘遊記
小弟幾年前寫了幾個腦殘遊記小短篇當簽名檔用,近日也補充了一些,
也有想過彙整成一整個完整篇章,不過大概還得花好陣子時間,
就先就這些零碎篇章跟大家分享一下吧 :
晨過市,忽覺甘酸撲鼻,見一販桃李者,往問之,
"桃李何者良?"
"桃味酸香,李味甘甜,各有滋味,皆為良品,意欲為何?"
"如此,則甘李良。"
語畢,販者暴起相毆,其也怪耶歟?
~摘自<<腦殘遊記>>
復向東,見一商港,然商販皆金髮碧眼,料是海外來朝之英吉利商販集散所在,
舶來異寶眾多,正目眩神迷間,琴聲價響,佇聽之,或如山壑雅秀,或如水潭淨謐,
時悠遠輕揚,復而厚實凝重,令人神馳,急尋琴聲來處,見一英吉利女子正自奏藝販琴,
當下文思泉湧,兼有結識之意,於是突出人群,吟詩唱和:"商娥扶碧曲,秀謐悠而厚...",
詩未竟,曲驟斷,但見英女神色驚訝,連聲曰諾,正暗喜間,卻見數名英商巡官怒目而來,
倒拖吾身,飽以老拳。嗟乎,奈何蠻夷終究不識詩詞曲賦之美...。 ~摘自<<腦殘遊記>>
一日,行至江淮,沐那五月落梅風,好不快意,舉目望見熙來攘往盡是梅販;
道中擾嚷,卻見一販梅老朽正與一眾地痞爭執,
細看老叟卻是背抵院牆執一扁擔獨對眾惡,威風凜凜,兼有當年徐元直之果敢勇謀,
這等人物令人好生激賞,決意出言調解,於是排開眾人直赴兩造跟前,
「眾位且聽在下一言,」兩造同時怒曰:何,「梅朽敢謀...」,
話音未落,忽覺前額後背同時吃痛,自此人事不知...。 ~摘自<<腦殘遊記>>
遊滇,當地挑夫領了眾人去瞧象牙如何採集,
在曠野遠遠便見群象正在行走半途卻不斷哀嚎仆倒,
隨即眾人一湧而出屠象取牙,正在不明白間,挑夫便說了,這據傳是武侯留下的法子,
也不甚難,便是將打造鋼鐵兵器什貨時的碎料稍加打磨如石礫般有稜有角,銳得緊,
鋪在象群飲水路上便是,象身奇重,踩上一個便要倒下,
當地人喚這法子作鋼礫採牙。聽完此言,便又自顧地神往武侯風采了。
~摘自<<腦殘遊記>>
過得景德道中,見一商人不販瓷器,卻只是不斷稱道身後飯館正演著大戲,
說是四大名捕會京師的故事,同門義氣精彩可期,瞧他讚得口沫橫飛,就直往飯館去,
只見台上蹭了半天文不文武不武,一會同門相殘一會兄弟反目,只瞧得出是一蹋糊塗,
好容易演到冷血與無情似要演起對決武戲,眾人正要喝采時台上兩武生卻止住作一大揖,
說是今日到此,歡迎諸位貴客明日再來觀賞下半齣的《冷血無情四招會》,
眾人忿忿之際便要望那假瓷器商發作,卻哪還見得那騙子身影。~摘自<<腦殘遊記>>
--
『現在想想,他只是個老是依靠我報仇跟偷窺的廢物罷了...』
《哆啦●夢回憶錄》
--
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※ 編輯: Darius (114.149.62.22), 03/01/2015 19:01:01
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