[難過] 從小寄人籬下,不知如何和親戚互動消失
我父母在我還是嬰兒時就離婚了
小時候我和外公外婆住,媽媽之後拋家棄子
外公外婆過世後我被好心的親戚收留
雖然親戚很好心,但終究不是我的原生家庭,教養方法差很大
(原生家庭是放任式教育,親戚家很嚴格,親戚的太太常給我臉色看)
所以待在親戚家的日子裡我其實很不開心,可能當時在叛逆期,和親戚的衝突也不曾少過
上大學後離開親戚家,因為距離是美感,關係有稍為改善
出社會後在別的縣市工作,一年只有清明節會回親戚家(因為有一樣的祖先要拜)
近年,過新年時我都避免回去親戚家,雖然我知道親戚不會這樣想
但我還是覺得那不是我家,回去和他們吃年夜飯會有點尷尬
(但我會在清明節時補包紅包給他們)
其實長大之後很感謝當年親戚的幫忙,讓我順利完成學業,現在可以自食其力
但我和親戚實在無話可聊,各自的觀念差很多
(他是最古板的傳統公教人員,觀念都是會被八卦板噓爆的那種),
所以每次回去都只能面對漫長的無言,對我來說很難熬
剛剛親戚打電話來問怎麼這麼久沒打電話回去,提醒我記得一段時間打回去報個平安
我當下打哈哈帶過,但掛完電話很難過,忍不住就哭了
我心裡很清楚親戚大概是我所剩無幾的親人之一
親戚也老了,也不可能一直在那裡關心我
我應該要把握時間和親戚相處
但除了地理上的限制,我還是不知道該怎麼和親戚自在的互動
這種矛盾的心情一直在我心中糾結
也不知道該和誰說,畢竟有這種經歷的人很少吧
只好寫在這裡發洩一下……
--
※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc), 來自: 114.25.227.221
※ 文章網址: https://www.ptt.cc/bbs/WomenTalk/M.1444057485.A.6DB.html
推
10/05 23:05, , 1F
10/05 23:05, 1F
推
10/05 23:07, , 2F
10/05 23:07, 2F
推
10/05 23:07, , 3F
10/05 23:07, 3F
→
10/05 23:08, , 4F
10/05 23:08, 4F
→
10/05 23:12, , 5F
10/05 23:12, 5F
推
10/05 23:26, , 6F
10/05 23:26, 6F
推
10/05 23:30, , 7F
10/05 23:30, 7F
推
10/05 23:47, , 8F
10/05 23:47, 8F
推
10/05 23:52, , 9F
10/05 23:52, 9F
推
10/06 00:16, , 10F
10/06 00:16, 10F
→
10/06 00:16, , 11F
10/06 00:16, 11F
→
10/06 00:16, , 12F
10/06 00:16, 12F
→
10/06 00:16, , 13F
10/06 00:16, 13F
→
10/06 00:16, , 14F
10/06 00:16, 14F
推
10/06 00:39, , 15F
10/06 00:39, 15F
推
10/06 00:42, , 16F
10/06 00:42, 16F
→
10/06 00:42, , 17F
10/06 00:42, 17F
→
10/06 00:42, , 18F
10/06 00:42, 18F
推
10/06 00:44, , 19F
10/06 00:44, 19F
→
10/06 00:44, , 20F
10/06 00:44, 20F
→
10/06 00:44, , 21F
10/06 00:44, 21F
→
10/06 00:44, , 22F
10/06 00:44, 22F
→
10/06 01:08, , 23F
10/06 01:08, 23F
推
10/06 02:39, , 24F
10/06 02:39, 24F
→
10/06 02:39, , 25F
10/06 02:39, 25F
→
10/06 03:04, , 26F
10/06 03:04, 26F
推
10/06 03:57, , 27F
10/06 03:57, 27F
推
10/06 04:55, , 28F
10/06 04:55, 28F
推
10/06 07:07, , 29F
10/06 07:07, 29F
→
10/06 07:07, , 30F
10/06 07:07, 30F
推
10/06 07:12, , 31F
10/06 07:12, 31F
推
10/06 07:20, , 32F
10/06 07:20, 32F
推
10/06 07:40, , 33F
10/06 07:40, 33F
→
10/06 07:40, , 34F
10/06 07:40, 34F
→
10/06 07:40, , 35F
10/06 07:40, 35F
→
10/06 07:40, , 36F
10/06 07:40, 36F
→
10/06 07:40, , 37F
10/06 07:40, 37F
推
10/06 08:18, , 38F
10/06 08:18, 38F
→
10/06 08:19, , 39F
10/06 08:19, 39F
→
10/06 09:03, , 40F
10/06 09:03, 40F
推
10/06 09:16, , 41F
10/06 09:16, 41F
→
10/06 09:17, , 42F
10/06 09:17, 42F
→
10/06 09:18, , 43F
10/06 09:18, 43F
→
10/06 09:19, , 44F
10/06 09:19, 44F
推
10/06 11:53, , 45F
10/06 11:53, 45F
→
10/06 11:54, , 46F
10/06 11:54, 46F
→
10/06 11:55, , 47F
10/06 11:55, 47F
推
10/06 15:22, , 48F
10/06 15:22, 48F
推
10/06 20:14, , 49F
10/06 20:14, 49F
→
10/06 20:15, , 50F
10/06 20:15, 50F
→
10/06 21:03, , 51F
10/06 21:03, 51F