Kurt Cobain's suicide letter
To Boddah pronounced
Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously
would rather be an emasculated, infantile complainee. This note should be
pretty easy to understand. All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses
over the years. Since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics
involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven
to be very true. I haven't felt the exitement of listening to as well as
creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel
guilty beyond words about these things. For example when we're backstage and
the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowd begins it doesn't affect the
way in which it did for Freddy Mercury who seemed to love and relish in the
love and adoration from the crowd. Which is something I totally admire and
envy. The fact is I can't fool you. Any one of you. It simply isn't fair to
you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking
it and pretending as if I'm having 100 % fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should
have a punch in time clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried everything
within my power to appreciate it, and I do. God, believe me I do but it's not
enough.
I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot
of people. I must be one of one of those narcissists who only appreciate things
when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to
regain the enthusiasm I once had as a child. On our last three tours I've had a
much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally and as fans
of our music, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy
I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people
too much. So much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little,
sensitive, unappreciative, pisces Jesus man! Why don't you just enjoy it?
I don't know. I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a
daughter who reminds me too much of what I used to be.
Full of love and joy kissing every person she meets because everyone is
good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can
barely function. I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable
self-destructive, death rocker that I've become. I have it good, very good, and
I'm grateful, but since the age of seven I've become hateful towards all humans
in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along, and have
empathy. Empathy! Only because I love and feel for people too much I guess.
Thank you all from the pit of my burning nauseous stomach for your letters and
concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don't
have the passion anymore and so remember,
its better to burn out than to fade away.
peace, love, empathy. Kurt Cobain
Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your later.
Please keep going Courtney
For Frances
For her life which will be so much happier without me. I Love you. I love you!
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只有兩種過日子的方法。
一種是認為,沒有一件事是奇蹟。
另一種,是認為每一件事都是奇蹟。
http://www.wretch.cc/blog/mercadian
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