[轉錄]Re: 這樣會跑比較快!
社團聯展結束,大家去吃遲來的午餐兼聊天時,談到咱社長在笨板的這篇文章。
為了將「推研社的社長都會耍笨」的傳統建立起來,所以我就轉過來了。
不過盈慈的故事應該不只這樣才對。XD
※ [本文轉錄自 StupidClown 看板]
作者: jcewky (給我贏球~~~~~~~!!!) 看板: StupidClown
標題: Re: 這樣會跑比較快!
時間: Wed Apr 13 00:41:17 2005
說到被狗追,我就不得不提我的辛酸血淚史了,
在我人生的十九個年頭裡,我被追46次,被咬21次,紀錄還在持續攀升中,
我覺得我上輩子不是開香肉店的,就是狗肉吃太多,
所以這輩子狗一看到我,就會想起自己慘死的前世,並想找我報仇.
有一次我很悽涼的出了車禍,手受了傷,到一家外科診所治療,
當我包紮完之後,在門口等我媽媽,她正在和護士小姐打屁兼拿藥,
結果,不幸的事來了-------門口養了一隻狗!!!
我想說他被綁著應該無害吧!?而且它很善良地看著我,
我不禁和他溝通起來了:
你很無聊吧?!被綁著都不能動?!我受傷也好難過喲......blablabla.......
它似乎很通靈性地看了我一眼,我感覺到它在對我微笑,
就在我倆心靈相通的那個摸門特,它咬我了,還咬在綁著石膏的手上,
我看著血緩緩流下,襯著白色的繃帶,
我信任你耶?!你還咬我??就算我吃過你,那麼久的事了,還記仇???小心眼....
我媽拿了藥出來,看看我,回身推門,進入診所,
"不好意思,我要掛號!"
"咦?你不是剛走嗎?"
當他們再看到我之後,醫生那天就沒我收錢,而且再也不在診所養狗了......
我們里長養了一隻狗,叫阿發,
阿發小時候發燒,把頭腦燒壞,於是見到人就咬.尤其喜歡咬我,
舉凡:快速跑過,視而不見,裝做沒事,小心翼翼..............
無論我秉持怎樣的態度,都會被追,被追到的話就會被咬,
最誇張的一次,是我爸騎著摩托車經過,
我想說: 嘿嘿!!孩子,你追不上車吧?!想追我?你還有得學呢!!
結果阿發..........它追追追追..........撲上來........咬住車牌............
我們就這樣拖著它,一路從巷頭騎到巷尾,
我害怕地坐後座,緊緊的抱住我爸,
無限驚恐地回頭一看-----------阿發還在,死咬著車牌,
它注視著我,彷彿在說: 你以為你騎車就可以擺脫我了嗎?! 太天真了吧?!
你有張良計,我有過牆梯啊!!哦呵呵呵呵呵呵~~~~~~~~!!!!
我爸終於受不了,停下車來,於是,阿發就咬我了..............
在我離開家到台北求學脫離阿發之前,它總計咬過我十二次,
我想,我上輩子應該是吃光他全家吧.......
好深的怨念啊!!!!!!唉...................
--
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--
『羅莉塔,我生命之光,我腰胯的火焰,我的罪,我的靈魂。
羅-莉-塔:舌尖跳著輕快的三步舞,於上顎輕叩牙齒三次,羅.莉.塔。』
--《Lolita》(Nabokov)
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