Re: [XD] 周瑜VS孔明
※ [本文轉錄自 joke 看板]
作者: turnoff11 (運動傷害) 看板: joke
標題: Re: [XD] 周瑜VS孔明
時間: Mon Feb 22 19:49:29 2010
※ 引述《a1282 (挖挖挖)》之銘言:
: 周瑜:說好的十萬枝箭呢?
: 孔明指著草船上的箭笑言:向曹操借來的箭,絕對超過十萬枝
: 周瑜驚訝問孔明如何辦到的,魯肅便向周瑜說出了孔明的計謀
: 周瑜:你怎麼知道當天晚上會有大霧?
: 孔明:我看報紙才知道!
: ----
某日司馬懿帶兵前來攻打
眾人無不大驚失色
唯孔明一人神色自若
眾人好奇問孔明是否已有良策?
孔明手指桌上,自信的說:
翻開報紙,必有妙方。
治國用人,皆依所示!
眾人視之
上頭果然寫著:「孔明用空城計擊退司馬懿!」
眾人照其計而行
果然騙得司馬懿空手而歸。
後人問司馬懿為何不敢攻進去?
司馬懿直搖頭
直說:「早上遲些出門,超商裡最後一份報紙被孔明買走!
孔明有天書協助,我們豈能攻進去?真是無知小兒!」
於是後世皆棄四書、五經、兵法
皆熟讀報紙
正可謂
熟讀報紙,上知天文,下知地理,用人治國,又有何難?
早起讀報,洞燭先機,晚上讀報,預知未來,真神卷也!
旁人又問為何孔明知道報紙如此之神?
孔明:「我也是看了報紙才知道!」
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