[外絮] Text Messages to Pop已回收

看板NBA作者lollygagger (chivalry's alive)時間12年前 (2013/09/22 16:07)推噓32(32推 0噓 4→)

留言36則, 35人參與討論串1/1

Text Messages to Gregg Popovich From a Spurs Fan: A Shark Ate All the Babies 一個馬刺迷與 Pop 的簡訊閒聊: 大白鯊吃掉我所有小孩 By Shea Serrano (波士頓體育寫手，作品散見於 XXL, MTV, Vice, Complex等雜誌) on September 19, 2013 3:00 PM ET Gregg Popovich is a human with a cell phone, so I sent him some text messages. Gregg Popovich 此人有手機，故我閒來給他捎了個簡訊問侯... Me: Pop-a-doc! Pop: oh no Me: oh come now. I’ve not talked to you in so long. Pop: not an accident Me: you didn’t miss just a tiny amount? Not even thismuch Pop: I did. Me: : ) Pop: I missed you like how a stab victim misses being stabbed Me: that’s not that nice of you to say Pop: Sorry. I actually did think about you though Me: YOU DID! Pop: Yes. I was reminded of you. Me: OH MY GOD I KNEW IT I KNEW IT BEHIND THAT COFFEE CAKE STONE FACE IS A BEAUTIFUL HUMAN Pop: I was at the grocery store and I saw a dirty fat hobo and so then I was like, “I wonder what Shea is up to?” Me: :/ Pop: I was getting out of my car and I slammed the door on my hand and so then I was like, “I wonder what Shea is up to?” Me: dude Pop: I was shooting around at practice one day and I jumped and then came down and severely sprained both my ankles at the same time and so then I was like, “I wonder what Shea is up to?” Me: I GET IT OK I HAVE FEELINGS U KNOW Pop: I was on vacation with my family and we were out boating and we hit a wave and everyone fell out of the boat and drowned except for me and as I lay there crying a great white shark came and ate the limbs off all the babies and so then I was like, “I wonder what Shea is up?” [No response.] Pop: thanks for checking on me 我：帕ㄆ博士! Pop：噢不我：幹麻醬，好久沒跟你聊天了 Pop：這不是意外啊我：你敢說你沒有一點點想我? 不用多，一咪咪有吧? Pop：我想啊我：　: ) Pop：像被捅一刀的人懷念被捅的滋味，那樣的想你我：講話有必要醬難聽嗎 Pop：抱歉，其實偶爾我是會想起你我：真的！ Pop：在一些特別的情境下，我就會賭物思人想到你我：天哪真的嗎嗎我知道我就知道你這個愛結死臉的可人兒！！！　 Pop：那天我在雜貨店看到的一個又胖又髒的流浪工人(hobo)，於是我想：「不知道 Shea 現在在幹麻？」我：　:/ Pop：我下車關門，不小心夾到手痛得要死，這時我就想到了，「不知道 Shea 在幹嘛？」我：老兄 Pop：有天練投，我一跳之下，我兩個腳踝同時扭傷，還扭得不輕，於是我想「不曉得 Shea 在幹啥？」我：夠了我懂了你醬講很傷人你知道 Pop：我跟家人出海渡假，結果遇到一個大浪，除了我家人都被打下船，在海裏快溺死了，我正大哭時，一條大白鯊血盆大口一張把孩子們的四肢都給咬斷了，這時我不禁想，「不知道 Shea 在幹啥呢？」 [沒有回應] Pop：謝謝你問侯啊 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Pop: I watched this documentary on genocide and so then I was like, “I wonder what Shea is up to?” Pop: I can do this all day. Me: please stop Pop：我在看種族大屠殺的記錄片，慘不忍賭的情景中我想到了，「不知 Shea 最近在幹嘛？」 Pop：我可以醬玩一整天我：拜託不要 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Me: pop, but so I saw you in the news, is why I messaged you Pop: what about now? Me: I saw the thing about you boxing or something as part of basketball training or something Pop: “or something”? Me: ? Pop: you’re not very good at this Me: come on, man Me: this is a picture I drew of you : ( Pop: yeah, we were boxing Me: the story mentioned how even that couldn’t make you not think about game six Pop: okay Me: did you cry after game six? Pop: did I what? Me: cry. Pop: no Me: I cried. Pop: you breathed Me: ? Pop: jesus. saying you cried is like saying you breathed because you always do it all day everyday of your whole life Me: I don’t know that that’s fair Pop: can I ask you a question? Me: sure Pop: are you crying right now? Did what I just say make you cry? [No response.] Pop: see? Me: THAT’S NOT THE POINT, POP Pop: are there times when you don’t cry? Me: this conversation has not been that much fun for me Pop: I was sitting at a table drinking wine and relaxing and then this crow with rabies swooped down from a tree and pecked my eyeballs out and then the crow started talking loudly and it wasn’t just talking loudly that was [Page 2] the problem the rabies crow was also using a bunch of anti-Semitic slurs and disturbing everyone around it and then he started coughing syphilis all over everybody and so then I was like, “I wonder what Shea is up to?” Me: ok thanks bye ok 我：Pop, 我是看新聞提到你啦，所以才密你 Pop：我現在有什麼新聞？我：說你練拳還什麼的，當作籃球訓練的一部份之類的 Pop：「之類的」？我：? Pop：講話用詞還真精煉我：不要這樣我：我為你畫了張像 : ( Pop：對啊，我們是有練拳我：報導還說練拳也沒辦法讓你忘懷第六戰的事 Pop：嗯哼我：那次打完你有哭嗎 Pop：有怎樣？我：哭。你有沒有哭？ Pop：沒有我：我哭了 Pop：你有呼吸心跳嗎我：？ Pop：拜託，講你哭了就好像講說你有呼吸心跳一樣，因為你這輩子每一天都有呼吸心跳我：我在跟你搏感情耶，你這樣公平嗎 Pop：我能問你一件事嗎？我：請問 Pop：你現在有哭嗎？我剛才講的有沒有把你弄哭？ [沒有回應] Pop：你看吧我：這-不-是-我-的-重-點，Pop Pop：你有不哭的時侯嗎我：這對話實在太難玩了 Pop：我在桌邊自斟自飲，自得其樂，忽然一隻有狂犬病的烏鴉從樹上衝下來，把我的眼球給啄開花，接著還尖聲大叫，這還不打緊，問題是他叫的都是些反猶太人的混話，煩得大家不可開交，還開始把梅毒咳得到處都是...於是我就想，「不知道 Shea 現在在幹嘛呢？」我：噢謝了拜 -- ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 61.60.2.178 ※ 編輯: lollygagger 來自: 61.60.2.178 (09/22 16:08)

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