[聖誕] 岳癢樓記
二零一三年夏,三比零開台於圖奇。至今年,信眾無數,儼成癢板。乃辦廢文大賽,增其
聲勢,著癢粉文選於其上。囑予作文以記之。
予觀夫實況界之勝狀,唯統神一胖。爽爐石,怒掛網,坦坦蕩蕩,爛漫天真。電台爬山,
風情萬千。此則Yee人癢之大觀也,前人之述備矣。然則北有殺人魔,南有巴嘎冏,宅肥
蛇魯,多會於此,觀台之情,得無異乎?
若夫雞舍無情,鎖我比零;嗨抓西摳,地院現形;妨礙公務,低能辱警;戰隊解散,升降
不比;博駿出手,沒收主機。觀此台也,則有漫罵發病,憂讒畏譏,滿目蕭然,感極而悲
者矣。
至若選手忘形,草粉留精;蟹老佛光,一瀉千里;信眾雲集,統黑嘴閉;熊王我西,慘慘
悽悽。而或乾爹不爽,怒擲千金,爬山看奶,羊咩月希;電台餵食,此樂何極!觀此台也
,則有心曠神怡,寵辱偕忘,把酒臨風,其喜羊羊者矣。
嗟夫!予嘗求若統神之心,或異二者之為,何哉?不令智昏,不令意滿。永萬人之戴,則
斂其財;剩三千之眾,仍開其台。是以進亦賺,退亦賺。然則何日而收山?其必曰:「吾
乃YEE人,汝皆小丑」乎!噫,微斯神,吾誰與歸!
時一五年十二月十七日
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