[閒聊] 王昭的生活流水帳
宮裡面的書籍很多,包含不少民間小說,
還有夫妻夜間習武圖,我現在養成閱讀的習慣,
在信州的時候,除了習武,還是習武,
一起習武的同學功力都不好,
像是狼同學跟熊同學,唉,
(將軍:你看吧,一個打熊,一個打狼,哪有交集,翻桌!)
能這樣悠閒地看書、午睡、閑晃,
跟兄弟串串門子,跟十三喝喝酒,
找十四耍耍做兄長的威風,
還有那個愛撒嬌的十弟,
這麼多年來,就屬這一刻最舒心,
(將軍:你打完狼還不是在樹下睡覺)
王位是誰坐,我根本不在乎,
或許就是貪圖這一份在家人身邊的溫暖,
就算,他們不曾正眼看過我,
就算,我也不敢正視自己的傷痕,
但是,小樹看了,在浴池的我,那個赤裸的傷痕,
看了就要負責,我不管!
(將軍:哎唷~你身上哪個疤我沒看過,怎麼不找我負責?)
來這邊一段時間,越來越了解宮裡的生活,
婚姻是政治的手段,
權利是生存的力量,
儲君的位子,是踩著多少人的屍體才能走上去,
然後成為箭靶,等著變白骨,
可是造成這件事的人,也是我們的父親,
看著將軍教順德武功,我也期待我的父親教我騎馬射箭,
(將軍:哎唷,原來你還知道我女兒叫順德)
下不下雨,是老天爺決定,跟祈雨儀式無關,
重點是,下雨前有個儀式彰顯皇家威望,
看了這麼多書籍,這道理我懂,
知夢就是靠這個騙吃騙喝,
可我不懂,老天爺為什麼選我代替正胤上場,
難道祂看不見我臉上的傷嗎?
(將軍:你還真以為是老天爺選的嗎?你跟十皇子有的拼)
當雨下來的那一瞬間,腦袋空了,
忘了被丟石頭的不堪,忘了母親留在我臉上的疤痕,
忘了只是替代正胤的棋子,忘了自卑的憤怒,
心裡出現一股平靜,
不是因為祈雨因我成功,而是父親剛剛看著我,
牢牢着盯著我,一步一步走上祈雨台,
(將軍:我剛剛跑廁所沒看到)
就是那一眼的溫暖,如果那份溫暖只給坐上大位的人,
我願意,
母親相當太后,王堯想滅了兄弟當王,
我願意坐上那個位子,給與母親榮耀,
給與兄弟活下去的權利與土地,
讓兄弟不用爭那份溫暖,和睦相處,
就像小樹那樣純真的眼神,溫暖的雙手,
替我摘下心魔,喚出當年那個開心純真的小王昭,
而我,只能相信自己,以及這世上唯一的純潔,
我的小樹,讓我找回自己的小樹。
(將軍:所以我女兒大婚你送樹,不是金樹、銀樹,是真正的樹...)
PS:將軍,你幹嘛偷看我的日記
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※ 編輯: blueo1d (140.109.82.77), 09/23/2016 11:43:48
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