Re: [翻譯] 不好意思 這是我朋友的英文自傳 想請 …
如同上篇文章的推文
老實說 你這篇文章 光是內容就有很大的問題了
除了文章邏輯組織問題無敵大
內容空洞到不行
根本沒辦法幫你改...(想幫你重寫都很難~~~)
非常建議你重新思考過內容!!!
※ 引述《marvelousbre ( )》之銘言：
: My name is XXX. I majored in OOO at XX University.
: Besides, I just got the degree of master of OOO at XX University.
基本上 My name is XXX. 就不用寫了
非常多此一舉 因為很多文件上都會出現你的名字了
除非沒有地方會出現再寫
畢業的學校和科系也是同樣的道理
如果真要寫 用 and then 作連接詞 而不是用 besides 斷成兩句
如果想強調"剛畢業" 請直接寫出幾年幾月拿到學位
University 通常也可以省 但是正式文件最好別省
=> I got my bachelor's degree in OOO at XX in 月份/年份, and
my master's degree in OOO at XX in 月份/年份.
: When I was a college student, I always took great responsibility
: in club and held many activities at school.
身為一個學生 你的本分是 always 參與社團活動嗎?
這樣會給人極差的負面印象!
=> In college, I participated in many extracurricular activities.
因為
: I learned how to communicate and cooperate with others in club,
所以
: so I paid much attention to interpersonal management and communication.
直接轉換成中文來思考 你覺得這個句子合理嗎?
如果硬要改:
=> It has not only aroused my interest in interpersonal management,
but also honed my skills in communication and working with people.
: Therefore, I love to communicate with others, and I think that
: I am suitable for the work of human resources.
這句同樣也是出現非常不合理的狀況
使用了 therefore. 但看不到原因在哪?
: I just graduated from XXX. Thus I often tell myself to be humble and
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 之前提過的 就不用再提
: try my best to learn anything.
使用了 "thus" 但也是看不到原因在哪?
學校和人格特質之間有關聯嗎???
: I have good literal and oral expression ability,
: and I always ask myself to progress everyday.
換成中文思考
這兩句放在一起對嗎?
另外
介紹自己的部分 最好加強一些事例輔證
否則人家只會覺得你在打嘴砲
: I love challenges and hope you can give me an opportunity
: to be a member of your company.
=>
I feel confident of my ability to succeed in your company, and
look forward to the opportunity to do so.
結論:
建議你補強內容再上來問 我相信大家都會很願意幫你的
至於 I 很多 不用擔心 這本來就是自傳啊~~~
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※ 編輯: meisister 來自: 140.112.228.194 (04/08 15:34)
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