[閒聊] 11 types of obnoxious basketball fans on the Internet
11種最讓人厭惡的籃球迷
Posted by Scott Carefoot
1. The Homer – This is the most common type of obnoxious basketball fan and
he’s fairly easy to spot. He consistently overrates his team and underrates
every other team, every draft pick is a future All-Star, and every loss is
usually the fault of the referees. This type of fan takes rooting for his
team to a level where it becomes somewhat unhealthy and extremely annoying.
Don’t bother trying to debate him on how good his team really is, he can’t
be reasoned with.
鴕鳥型
自己支持的球隊最好 別人都是屁 每次輸球都是殘判+黑哨
2. The Pessimist – As miserable as this fan usually is, you wonder why he
bothers to root for his team or how he’s managed to avoid taking his own
life by this point. Every win is meaningless because it’s only a matter of
time before the season goes into a death spiral. This type of fan may
actually be attracted to bad teams because they help validate their natural
state of mind. See: Warriors fans.
悲觀型
通常都支持成績不好的隊伍 可能是心理投射作用吧 (有這種的喔...)
3. The Player-Hater — With the irrational way that this fan hates a
particular player, you’d think that the player had committed some
unforgivable transgression against the fan’s family. In fact, this fan
simply hates the way a certain player plays, carries himself and presents
himself to the media – so much so that the fan wants this player to fail as
much as he wants anything else in life. Sometimes, the player can be on the
fan’s favorite team and he’ll gladly take a loss if it means this player
has failed in a particularly egregious fashion. The more successful a player
is, the more a player- hater will reach to find ways to criticize the player.
For example, ESPN’s Bill Simmons can’t stop pointing out that Kobe Bryant
went 6-for-24 in Game Seven against his Celtics — conveniently overlooking
the fact that Kobe also grabbed 15 rebounds to help the Lakers win the
championship.
怨恨球員型
怨恨特定球員的程度會讓人以為球員是不是把他家燒了
如果球員表現越好 他越喜歡找其他地方來批評
4. The Stan – This type of fan loves a particular player so much, he may
actually prefer his player to put up big numbers even if it means his team
loses. If his favorite player gets traded, he dumps that player’s former
team like a bad habit and moves on to the new team — buying that player’s
new jersey as soon as it goes on sale. The Stan is blind to his favorite
player’s faults and will defend him against any haters through the end of
his career and beyond. In my experience, the “Vince Carter Stan” is
possibly the most irritating NBA fan of all.
熱愛球員型
對特定球員十分狂熱 只要球員表現好 球隊輸贏無所謂
只要球員轉隊 馬上跟著跳槽 然後開始批評前一支球隊多麼糟糕
5. The Tanker – Nothing brings this fan more pain than when his favorite
team wins games. Every game his team wins decreases their chances of winning
the next draft lottery and landing the next rookie stud. You’d think that you
’d only find this type of fan on really bad teams, but you’d be sadly
mistaken.
觀念型 (借用MLB版的梗)
球隊贏球他卻難過 因為這樣就離狀元越來越遠了...
6. The Statistical Manipulator – The revolution of advanced statistical
analysis in basketball means that we can break down players’ strengths and
weaknesses more effectively and go beyond the clumsiness of per-game numbers.
Many NBA teams use these advanced stats to bring scouting and gameplans to
whole new level. The statistical manipulator fan will use any manner of
statistic — no matter how obscure or dubious — to make a point about how
good or how bad a particular player is. If the stat is obscure and
complicated enough, you may not even understand what the hell it means, which
only allows him to point out that you’re too dumb to appreciate how awful or
how great this player really is. You may frequently find yourself wanting to
find out where this fan lives so you can drag him away from his computer,
dunk his head in a toilet and give him a swirly.
數據型
只看數據 不管他懂不懂這代表什麼
反正拿數據出來說偉大球員多麼糟糕就是爽
7. The Trade Machine Maniac – Ever played with ESPN’s NBA Trade Machine? It
’s a fun little tool that allows you to try out various configurations of
trades and see if they work under the NBA’s complicated salary cap rules. It
’s so fun that it can become quite addictive to a certain type of fan who can
’t stop posting ridiculous trade scenarios that somehow manage to bring a
player like Chris Paul to the fan’s favorite team without giving up any of
that team’s valuable assets. For example, I bet you a Knicks fan somewhere
has proposed trading Eddy Curry and Wilson Chandler for Chris Paul because it
works in the Trade Machine and the Hornets would be happy with Chandler’s “
potential” and Curry’s $11 million expiring contract. If you run a message
board, you should give these fans their own thread or section where they can
make their insane proposals without bothering everyone else.
電玩型
最喜歡拿爛咖去換大牌 就因為他們可能在電動或ESPN Trade Machine成功過
(當各隊GM都是笑笑湯或科科爾喔)
8. The Conspiracy Theorist — Ugh, these fans are the worst. They’re
convinced that everything in the NBA is fixed and will repeatedly state that
it has as much credibility as pro wrestling. According to this fan, all the
refs are instructed by the league to give certain players and teams the
advantage at all times, the draft lottery is rigged, and David Stern is a
Machiavellian monster. Don’t bother trying to ask this fan why he bothers to
follow the NBA if everything is fixed, you won’t get a response.
陰謀論型
把NBA當成WWF 認為每個裁判被被操控 選秀攏是假 史騰則是背後的大魔王
9. The Rabid Nationalist – If you wonder why a certain fan is so
irrationally supportive of a non-American player who isn’t really all that
good, there’s a possibility that the fan is of the same ethnic background as
the player. This is understandable and fine in theory, but these fans can be
quite vicious and lash out at you if you attempt to point out that the
greatest player to ever come from their country isn’t even a top-50 player
in the NBA. Dead giveaways that you’re dealing with an rabid nationalist:
broken English, creative swearing and wildly inappropriate comments about
your family and your sexuality.
民族主義型
瘋狂支持相同民族的球員 就算客觀的批評球員 還是會引來謾罵
10. The Casual Racist – Whether we want to admit it or not, we’re all a
little bit racist in one way or another. The particular breed of racist I’m
referring to here isn’t a “real racist” in the sense that he actually
hates or wishes harm on another race. He’s just convinced that the race in
question is inherently inferior at basketball or he has a rooting interest in
that race achieving greater NBA success. The casually racist NBA fan
typically comes in two types: the fan who complains that his team has too
many white or “Euro” players, and the fan who bemoans the lack of great
white American NBA players. A lot of these fans are still heartbroken over
the spectacular failure of Adam Morrison’s NBA career.
種族主義型
可以分成兩種:一種是抱怨白人太多 一種是怨嘆白人太少
11. The LeBron/Kobe/Jordan Obsessive — Do I really need to explain this one?
For some reason, there is a group of NBA fans who seem to exist only to
compare LeBron with Kobe, LeBron with Jordan and/or Kobe with Jordan. It doesn
’t matter whether the blog post or message board topic is supposed to have
anything to do with these players, this fan will always find a way to steer
the topic to his particular obsession. If you actually write a blog post
comparing these players, you’ll surely attract these nutbars like the scent
of freshly cooked bacon at a fat camp. Don’t blame the media for covering
these players so extensively — because of these fans, it’s just good
business. Note: out of all these fan types, this is the one that would
benefit most from psychiatric treatment.
迷戀LBJ/KB/MJ型
反正就是LBJ跟KB比 KB跟MJ比 MJ又跟LBJ比 比個不停
他們才不管你是不是在討論這幾個人咧
So there you have it. Those are the main types of obnoxious and delusional
NBA fans I’ve dealt with online. There are surely more types that I’ve
missed, and I encourage you to point these out to me in the comments. The
best one will be added to this post with credit given to the commenter. As
for me? At various points, I’ve been a homer, a pessimist, a Stan, a tanker,
a statistical manipulator and a trade machine maniac. (Cue the Judd Nelson
fist pump and “Don’t You Forget About Me”.) I’m a complex guy, and more
than a little mentally unstable. You knew that “fan” is short for “fanatic
”, right?
大概介紹完了 有缺的話請幫忙補充喔
Bonus obnoxious fan type! The Revisionist History Major (suggested by
commenter ThatPatty) – “The fan that loves to point out that his team could
have had Player X in the 200# draft if they had only drafted smarter… or his
team could have signed Player Y in the summer of 200#… and if only his team
had been smarter, they would be contenders.” What cracks me up about this
fan type is that they completely ignore the fact that if they had drafted the
right player in one draft, they would have had a completely different (and
lower) draft pick in the following draft.
再送一種!馬後炮型
就是那種如果在哪一年選誰或是簽誰會比較好啊之類的話
如果在那一年就選到或簽到對的人的話 之後就不會有那麼好的順位或空間了阿
原文:http://tinyurl.com/24lotjv
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糟糕我是第3種
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LBJ CAN HEAD SOUTH!
BUT YOUR MOM IS RIDING WEST!
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