[爆卦] 馬英九除三害消失
古時,在歹丸,有一個有權有勢叫馬英九的男子,助紂為虐,作惡多端,十分可惡。而且
他良心已泯,時常欺壓歹丸人,成為歹丸的禍患,惡名遠播。智力正常的歹丸人都憎恨他
。
那時候,在帝寶附近的江邊出
現了一條會令老百姓失業沒飯吃的食人神豬,在西面的糞坑又有一隻會隨地便溺的426
騷擾附近居民。馬英九,426和神豬都時常侵害老百姓,對老百姓造成很大的威脅,於
是當地人就把馬英九跟神豬、426合起來叫做「三害」,而「三害」中又以馬英九為禍最
大。
一天,馬英九見到父老一臉愁苦,就問:「今年不是豐收嗎?為甚麼你們愁眉苦臉?」父
老說:「有西面的426、江裏的神豬為害,哪有快樂的日子?如果你是真正的英雄,就
應為民除害。」
於是,馬英九帶了9.2進糞坑,將那頭凶惡的426殺了;然後又跑到神豬作惡的河邊,跳進
水裡與神豬搏鬥。馬英九與神豬糾纏正在一起,在水中或浮或沉,糾纏了數十里,馬英九
仍拚命的抓著神豬,不肯放棄。三天三夜過去了,都不見馬英九上岸,人們都以為他與神
豬同歸於盡了。三害已除,於是歹澎金馬所有歹丸人都一起互相慶賀。
誰知馬英九令神豬下地獄後,又突然浮出水面,游到岸邊。他上了岸,看見歹丸人都為他
不在人世而互相慶賀。他從未見過人們如此歡喜,此刻他才醒悟到,原來自己是那麼差的
;原來在歹丸,自己才是最大的禍害。他感到深深慚愧:「殺6斬豬又有何用?我馬英九
才是最大的禍害呀!難道我以後都要做個害人的傢伙?別人永遠都怕我恨我?我何時才可
以堂堂正正的做個人?」
於是馬英九決定投胎重新做人,投河自盡去了。
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