[Mind] Lord please forgive me
This morning I had an appointment with my cram school teacher,
and I have no idea why there's a misunderstanding between us..
I went to the WRONG library we agreed to have our meeting.
I remember he told me the station at Ching Mei, and then go see
him up at 5th floor. However, after I left the station and enter the library,
I found it's Ching Xin library instead of Ching Mei Library. I was confused
and called him to apologize that I went to the wrong library. However, after
I apologized to him, he didn't accept my apology but burst into anger and
insulted me. I apologize again and told him there must be an misunderstanding
between us. Yet to my surprise, he blamed me and told me NOT to blame the fault
on him. I am honestly very shocked and scared, because why would he have
this imagination of me swaying the responsibility on him? It was just an
misunderstanding, and it's none of anyone's fault. He then burst into another
episode, and told me "We are over, I don't want to work together with you!"
I stand there, holding my cell phone, almost stunned into the "blank" state
of mind. Geez, I shocked myself actually!! @_@
I was there pondering, what's wrong with him and what's wrong with me?
Am I at fault? I think hard, but a weird sound arise, telling me that this
guy might have some social pressure and was hurt deeply before. oh yeah!
Maybe that's why he act in anger. Yeah, might be that he's really stressed
with life's restrain for him, and his dissatisfaction of his current life.
That's why he always imagine others blaming on him, because he was blamed
always, by the teacher, by the society, by the majority. Therefore, he repeated
this pattern : to blame everyone! and sometimes imagining blamed by others
Why? Because this is a society of blaming, beating, and restrain.
After a while, I just learned that I need to be careful, because
almost 99% of the people like to judge you based on your superficial status,
degree, power, and money. They hide their subtle superiority inside without
revealing it, and burst with an evil laughter.
Therefore, the pattern goes, forever. It just keep going on and on, like
a vicious circle. And honestly speaking, people living in this kind of
lifestyle, cannot nurture creativity nor wonderful ideas. And it's a sorrow
that the vast majority of us, frankly speaking, are living in a world of
restrain, which we don't even know, that limits our freedom, our happiness,
plus or creativity.
It is like a huge cultural SHOCK after I came back home.
Because I feel easier dealing with caucasian. They are more down to earth
and direct. Even there's misunderstanding, they won't make a big fuss.
They'll just solve it logically without making things complicated, and
won't involve too much personal bias, judgements, immature emotions.
And ridiculously, while I was in US, I social with ABC, caucasian, and
mainlanders. (As for mainlander, it's another story I want to withhold. They
are very similar to Taiwanese but a bit different.) The most comfortable
frienship I rely on is perhaps with caucasians. Even we are not very close,but
I feel a hedge between keeps frienship green.
Maybe I am a weirdo now, but I don't know where I belong, sadly.
I feel frustrated interacting with some Taiwanese people with
complicated thoughts who aren't so simple and easygoing.
OK.....finished my VENT, and it cures. Hahahahahah XDDDD
--
-TRUTH is the absolute Beauty embedded in mind-
--
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◆ From: 123.193.24.253
※ 編輯: celestial09 來自: 123.193.24.253 (02/20 11:36)
※ 編輯: celestial09 來自: 123.193.24.253 (02/20 12:05)
※ 編輯: celestial09 來自: 123.193.24.253 (02/20 12:06)
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