Re: [請益] 小篇作文結構請益
這位同學可以再多看看一些文章，基本上回答有些文不對題
用語也太過簡單，可以多練習一些句型，看看一些原文雜誌是怎麼表達思想的
※ 引述《tuna7639 (鮪魚肚)》之銘言：
: 這是托福的文章
: 不知結構有沒有什麼問題。
: 用字上小弟沒什麼概念，望高手指教。。。
: TOPIC 181: In your country, is there more need for land to be left in its
: natural condition or is there more need for land to be developed for housing
: and industry? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
這則問題問的是
「你認為在你的國家，是更需要維持自然景觀/狀況，還是需要為產業及住家做開發？」
一般來說，寫這種辯證式的文章，可以第一段簡寫正反方意見，最後一句寫你的看法
後面給兩至三段的理由，為什麼你認為你的想法是對的，最後再總結
但你的理由不是理由，而是已經到要落實你意見的手法了 (選政治人物什麼的)
對這種題目，支持你論點的理由，應該是比如
1. 人需要親近大自然藉以鬆懈壓力及緊張，因此原始景觀應被保留
2. 原始自然景觀有助於幫助孩童教育，以及教導孩子珍惜自然/小動物
3. industry and housing should be planned more carefully instead of invading
the natural forest as a solution.
其實natural condition並不僅限於自然景觀，比如像京都那種原始的日本風情也算
所以理由甚至也包含，讓國人還是懂得珍惜原本的文化，而非全然接受西方景觀/方式
: We do not need more new buildings.
第一段不能只有一個句子
: We need to choose wisely, we have to consider wisely, because if we made a
: wrong decision, we all suffered from it. People in our country has forced to
: face air pollution, they drink unclean water, sleep with noise, and fear of
: atom machine might explode someday. We are live in fear, we need to do
: something.
整篇都寫太直白了…we are live in fear也不是正確的文法
真的建議原po再多讀點文章再寫，不要急著練習寫作文
: First of all, we must protect the natural scenery we have remain, like
: Taitung city, it is still consisted of beautiful mountains, rivers, forests,
: and animals, it is treasure we still have. However, if we keep expand our
: territory, cut down the trees, hunt the animals until they die out, or make
: the nature beauty seems not beautiful anymore. Then we are cursed, we cannot
: survive in this country anymore, once the creatures in this land extinct, we
: will die out, too.
territory是領土，像王國領土，如果我們expand our territory
那除了反攻大陸還有佔領釣魚臺之外好像沒其他辦法…XD
: Second, we must find a way as a substitute energy sources to our old way, a
: new method that could be better in order to save our land. For instance, we
: could use solar power instead of burning coals. It might help a little to the
: air pollution. Or we would only use recycled paper to protect our trees, and
: it would be also helpful to protect the wild animals.
: Third, we got to have a great leader in order to improve the quality of our
we got to是很口語的用法，請勿在正式考試中使用
: land, a man could have great plan to keep our people's wealth and protect our
: nature, we need good politicians who could listen to people and do practical
: things. For saving this country, we need smart, generous, and brave leaders.
: In conclusion, in order to save the nature, we must to protect the nature we
: have, find a new source of energy, and get a great leader. Once we save the
: nature, we say that we live in a healthy country, and we could have a happy
: life.
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