[請益] 這句話哪邊有問題呢??

看板Eng-Class作者 (ladyspider)時間12年前 (2011/10/03 23:27), 編輯推噓2(2推 0噓 17→)
留言19則, 4人參與, 最新討論串1/1
A poster composed of different elements, besides the main function to communicate information, execution of graphic, photos, patterns, symbols, script and colors are also important. 這個是我的proposal裡面的一段話， editor 表示 : I am not able to understand this. 是這句話太過台式英文了嗎?? -- ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 111.240.194.74 ※ 編輯: ladyspider 來自: 111.240.194.74 (10/03 23:28) ※ 編輯: ladyspider 來自: 111.240.194.74 (10/03 23:28)
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10/04 02:01, , 1F
I am not able to understand this +1
10/04 02:01, 1F
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10/04 02:02, , 2F
一句話請勿包含太多重點。光看句構，主句是 a poster
10/04 02:02, 2F
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10/04 02:03, , 3F
composed of different elements...are also important
10/04 02:03, 3F
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10/04 02:04, , 4F
但這樣的主句不僅be動詞不對，內容也看不懂。
10/04 02:04, 4F
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10/04 10:39, , 5F
好像是兩句混在一起 是這樣子嗎? 一個是about a poster's
10/04 10:39, 5F
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10/04 10:39, , 6F
elements.另一個是about important functions
10/04 10:39, 6F
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10/04 10:40, , 7F
either make it into one sentence with tight logic,
10/04 10:40, 7F
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10/04 10:40, , 8F
or split it into 2 separate sentences ^^
10/04 10:40, 8F
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10/04 16:48, , 9F
目前看來是併在一起，但referent不明以及beV用錯導致整句
10/04 16:48, 9F
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10/04 16:48, , 10F
distorted
10/04 16:48, 10F
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10/04 16:49, , 11F
拆成兩句+連接詞: A poster is composed of different
10/04 16:49, 11F
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10/04 16:51, , 12F
elements, and besides its main function to communicate
10/04 16:51, 12F
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10/04 16:52, , 13F
information, others such as blablabla are also important
10/04 16:52, 13F
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10/04 16:54, , 14F
這句兩個S根V。但你只寫出來S1根V2，V1根S2消失了
10/04 16:54, 14F
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10/04 16:55, , 15F
也不是說消失，反正你沒很好地把兩個要傳達的意思揉合進單句
10/04 16:55, 15F
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10/04 16:57, , 16F
還有一個問題是 main function應該是主，others應該是次
10/04 16:57, 16F
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10/04 16:58, , 17F
但你卻用besides(通常是附加說明的概念)來帶出主，然後次
10/04 16:58, 17F
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10/04 16:58, , 18F
概念就跑到句構中的主句.....so screwed= ="
10/04 16:58, 18F
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10/08 02:22, , 19F
哇啊啊~ 謝謝大家的指正!
10/08 02:22, 19F
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文章代碼(AID): #1EYTHOhq (Eng-Class)