求中譯／英譯：中譯
屬句子／段落：（三行以上皆屬段落）
“Private Moon” is a visual poem, telling a story
about a man who found the Moon and stayed with her
for the rest of his life.
In the upper world, in the attic of his house, he
saw the Moon which had fallen from the sky. At first
she was hiding from the sun in a dark, damp tunnel
and was constantly frightened by the passing trains.
Then she came to the house of the man.
Wrapping the moon in a thick blanket, he gives her
autumn apples and drinks tea with her. When she
finally recovers he puts her on a boat and carries
her across a dark river to a high bank, where moon
pine-trees grow.
He descends to the lower world wearing the clothes
of his deceased father and then returns, illuminating
the way with his private moon.
Transcending the borders between worlds via narrow
bridges, sinking into sleep, taking care of the
heavenly body, man turns into a mythological being
living in the real world like in a fantastic fairy-tale.
我的試譯：（求譯「段落」者，本欄請勿留白）
「Private Moon」是首述說著一位男士發現一輪月亮，
並陪伴在月亮身邊，直到月亮生命盡了的視覺詩。
在世界上，在他家閣樓，他看見一輪月亮從天墜落。
起初她在黑暗潮濕的隧道裡躲避太陽，而被來來往往的車輛所驚嚇。
後來她來到了他的家。
那男士幫她蓋上毯子，並給她秋天的蘋果和她一起喝茶。
當她終於恢復體力，他將她安置在船上，帶她渡黑河來到
moon pine-trees所生長的河岸。
他穿著他已故父親之衣物來到那的世界，然後折返，一路
上都有他專屬的月為他帶來光亮。
透過那狹窄的橋樑連接著不同世界，沉眠，照顧著天體，男士成
了神話，在現實世界上，如同在夢幻裡。
提問：
雖然英文字看得懂,但是文法不太熟,不知道有沒有錯誤,
尤其最後那兩段英文實在太抽象了><""
如有翻譯錯誤等等請指教謝謝!!
Q1.moon pine-trees怎麼翻譯比較好?
Q2.Transcending the borders between worlds via narrow
bridges, sinking into sleep, taking care of the
heavenly body第一句和第二句看得懂,第三句不知道有什
麼特殊涵義然後三句加在一起就不知道在說什麼了...
然後整個第四段也覺得自己翻得很差Q^Q,請大家多多指教
PS目前只想到這些問題,如還有其他錯誤等等,也請大家指教一下
謝謝m(_ _)m
※ 編輯: lunai 來自: 140.127.65.135 (10/21 18:13)
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※ 編輯: lunai 來自: 140.127.65.135 (10/21 19:07)
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