Re: [心情] 我不敢想像的婚姻生活及補教工作

看板CS_TEACHER作者 (paul)時間14年前 (2011/06/15 19:47), 編輯推噓3(3020)
留言23則, 4人參與, 最新討論串2/2 (看更多)
I did not intend to reply but figured that I'd feel equally insulted and pissed if I were you. So. Here we go. What sets English and Chinese-English apart is not grammar alone. One can easily come up with sentences that are grammartically correct but would seem awkward in the eyes of a native speaker. For English learners like us, however,these awkwardnesses often fly under our radar. In fact, I would even go so far as to say that they are, more often than not, undetectable to the untrained eyes. Yet it does not mean they do not exist when they cannot be detected. I would suggest that you erase the Chinese part, and ask anyone with a moderate proficiency in English to read the English part and see if he or she can grasp what the author was trying to convey (or better yet, translate the passage back into Chinese). I'd bet you are not convinced yet. At least I wouldn't if I were you - Anyone could come up with the aforementioned and claim that he knows better. So here is my go at your first paragraph. >>I have a girlfriend whom I have dated with for 8 years, >>and when the inevitable in life comes, she is the girl >>I am prepared to throw away my life just to ensure her >>safety. In a clich? fashion of speaking, this is how much I >>think I am in love with her. >>So, it naturally bears a dilemma to me, namely, how come, when >>approaching 30, I haven't asked her to marry me? The topic >>is so profound and serious that no matter how elusively I >>try to delay my being confronted by it like the once-in-life >>chicken pox? I simply couldn't stop it from happening. As grammartically perfect as this sentence is, it leaves the reader with ambiguity. What exactly is ' the inevitable' in life? By reading on one can assume that by 'inevitable' the author meant 'danger',and this 'danger' seems to be an inevitability IN LIFE. Some people go through life without ever being threatened by danger of any kind. While danger or unfortunate events are unpredictable, they are certainly not inevitable. I would phrase it as 'If danger ever goes her way, I would..." xxx As for the second paragraph, I prefer not to say much but to simply point out the word 'happening' does not go well with the earlier subject 'topic' (concerning marriage). >>The topic is so profound..., ...I simply couldn't stop it >>from happening. Topics don't happen. They are raised. We raise a topic. We do not let a topic happen. I could go on and on but this is how far I am willing to go at this point. I apologize if my comments have offended you. Please believe that I meant no harm. -- ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 58.115.187.166

06/15 21:55, , 1F
If danger COMES her way > goes her way.
06/15 21:55, 1F

06/16 15:19, , 2F
NO. I do appreciate your taking time to review my
06/16 15:19, 2F

06/16 15:20, , 3F
words, my offensive way to defend my article is
06/16 15:20, 3F

06/16 15:21, , 4F
too often when I am seeking advices, the chances
06/16 15:21, 4F

06/16 15:21, , 5F
are that I will receive irrsponsible remarks
06/16 15:21, 5F

06/16 15:22, , 6F
without the efforts to elaborate their remarks
06/16 15:22, 6F

06/16 15:23, , 7F
And I confess that the original version of my
06/16 15:23, 7F

06/16 15:23, , 8F
complaint is Chinese, and the English version is
06/16 15:23, 8F

06/16 15:24, , 9F
quite different from it, so I think it explains
06/16 15:24, 9F

06/16 15:25, , 10F
why it reads awkard.
06/16 15:25, 10F

06/16 15:26, , 11F
True, my article is rather immature and awkard
06/16 15:26, 11F

06/16 15:26, , 12F
BUt if I don't try to have it read by others,
06/16 15:26, 12F

06/16 15:27, , 13F
how would I know how to improve it?
06/16 15:27, 13F

06/16 15:29, , 14F
Thanks for your explication, at least distinguish
06/16 15:29, 14F

06/16 15:30, , 15F
it self from others for its straightforwardness
06/16 15:30, 15F

06/16 15:30, , 16F
and independence
06/16 15:30, 16F

06/16 16:56, , 17F
Your straightforward attitude is classy to me. :-)
06/16 16:56, 17F

06/16 23:54, , 18F
advice不可數~~
06/16 23:54, 18F

06/17 15:01, , 19F
可我不能改推文的內容..
06/17 15:01, 19F

06/17 15:02, , 20F
嗯下次喔會注意的 advice =>不可數
06/17 15:02, 20F

06/17 23:18, , 21F
查字典好像可以耶...
06/17 23:18, 21F

06/17 23:19, , 22F
似乎解做「消息」才有在數就是了。
06/17 23:19, 22F

06/21 10:48, , 23F
good
06/21 10:48, 23F
文章代碼(AID): #1D-9lkkX (CS_TEACHER)
文章代碼(AID): #1D-9lkkX (CS_TEACHER)