[心得] really thinking
Just a thought
This trip abroad
thinking about us
the past 5 years
how we were once so in love
how we laughed so much, cried so hard, and loved so effortlessly together
and how it's all tumbling down now
As with all couples falling apart
our love started to break apart
with no outsiders but only our dividing hearts
few days ago
You said you no longer felt that love for me
only family love, not that of lovers' love
at that time
i knew i still loved you, never stopped loving you since the beginning
wondering how could you leave me despite everything we had
the memories, the countless conversations, the life shared
but now i know
how it all fell apart in these past months
no excuses but only myself to blame
i am not mad at you but only disappointed at us
at the lost opportunities we could have had
how we could have gotten married and have kids together
move to us or canada or just hualien
raise a dog you so much desired
buy a house by the ocean we could see the sunrise together
own a clinic we could work together at
cook together, with me wasking the dishes and you dancing around me
sleeping side b side listening to michael buble singing home for us
growing old together
i don't what becomes of us now
we may become a couple soon to breaking up
and then becomeing friends, close enough to care for each together
but i can honestly tell you this
i don't think i'll ever want to talk to you again if we break up
it'll hurt too much trying to care about you
you may tell me that i am family to you
but i'll tell you that it'll be too hard
it'll just be too selfish of you to ask to be that for you
i am typing this now in the airport
at 1am in the morning before my flight
i am thinking of you
looking at our past e-mails
tears flowing down my cheeks looking at what you wrote 3 years ago
and wondering what went wrong
and really envying the me back then
how much of love i had that time
just a thought
i love you
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