[心情] 習慣,有你。
「我好像喜歡上他了。」
半年前,就在我們交往三周年紀念日後的兩天,你突然傳來了簡訊這麼說著。
於是,我失戀了。
如果要我形容剛分手的那段日子,大概只有行屍走肉、天昏地暗能形容吧?
每天醒來的第一件事從叫你起床變成了告訴自己你不在了,買早餐要強迫自己別傻傻的買
兩份,到了學校還要不時的提醒自己別在朋友面前掉淚,回家的路是我們一起走過幾百次
的風景,我總是低著頭快步走過,回到家關上房門,再讓黑暗吞噬眼淚。
習慣是種可怕的病,俏俏走入你的生命,在你不知不覺中伸出了藤蔓纏住了你的心,當你
想把它趕出你的生活,才會發現,你早就跟它密不可分,用力拔起,也只是讓自己傷痕纍
纍。
有你的三年,有了很多戒不掉的習慣,習慣凌晨一點電話中你迷糊的晚安,習慣教室門口
歪著頭等著我的你,習慣每天一定要被搶走好幾口的午餐,習慣了每個週末期待的約會,
習慣不管走到那總是有兩隻手緊緊的握在一起,習慣,有你。
分手那天,我茫然的問你,為了什麼你願意放棄三年的感情跟著一個只認識了兩個星期的
人走,你說,兩個星期夠你認識他的全部了,我很好,但是現在的我們太平穩了,你倦了
。
我以為,平穩才是最幸福的愛情,原來你追求的是表面上那種浮誇的交往,我恨我怎麼不
早點看清,我恨我怎麼不早點清醒,就這樣讓你放肆的把影子藏在我生活中的每個角落,
讓我在失去你後總是過得小心翼翼,因為不想讓自己在某個不經意的舉手投足間又讓眼淚
潰提,我太習慣了,太習慣有你了。
半年過了,再過三天又是我們曾經的紀念日,這段時間,我慢慢的復原,很慢很慢,但至
少有,雖然有些太麻煩改的密碼還是你的生日,雖然有時會不小心翻到你寫給我的紙條,
雖然有時候會在衣櫃裡看到你送給我的布偶,雖然很多時候我還是會不自覺的陷入沉思,
但至少那些你留給我的習慣,就像我們一起在海灘上畫過的愛心,被時間的浪潮沖的,淡
了。
送給每個跟我一樣還沒辦法讓曾經雲淡風輕的人。
--
Sent from my Android
--
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